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by: FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 7:58pm  
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board."Sure," I said, "as long as you provide your own kennel." I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.The customer was flummoxed: "I'll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!" 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 7:59pm  
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:00pm  
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper, and you get more feet. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:06pm  
My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:07pm  
Wandering inside a pet store, I stopped in front of a birdcage to admire a parakeet. We watched each other for a few minutes before it asked, "Can't you talk?" 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:10pm  
Why does moisture destroy leather? When it's raining, cows don't go up to the farmhouse yelling, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!" 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:12pm  
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it.Later they get together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.""I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him."They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision." 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:15pm  
@retired_engineer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. He posts it on KDC woith a picture, but two weeks later, there's still no sign of the dog. "What did you write in the ad?" his wife asks. "Here, boy," he replies. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:20pm  
When our client's dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. "Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find," he told me.At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk."Believe it or not," I said, "this is for a sick dog."As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of Jigar Cabernet Sauvignon and she said, "These are for my cats." 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:23pm  
When a squirrel slipped into @boobear house, she did the logical thing: she panicked and called her father."How do you get a squirrel out of the bedroom?" she shrieked.Her dad advised her to leave a trail of peanut butter and crackers from the bedroom to the outside. It worked—the squirrel ate his way out of the house. Unfortunately, he passed another squirrel eating his way in. 4951
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Janey Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:25pm  
A baby seal walks into this club... 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:35pm  
When a neighbor's home was burglarized, @lola decided to be more safety conscious. But her measly front-door lock wasn't going to stop anyone, so she hung this sign outside: "Nancy, don't come in. The snake is loose. Mom." 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:39pm  
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears. "What are you?" asks the cat."A gnome," comes the reply. "I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?"The cat replies, "Um, I’m a gnome." 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:43pm  
@mutton and fofa are arguing about whose pet is smarter."My dog is so smart," says mutton, "that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee.""I know," says fofa."How do you know?", ask mutton"Echo told me." 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:47pm  
The week @fallon and Hubby got their new puppy, Hubby caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day. That afternoon, fallon called to check up on him."I'm okay," he said. "But guess who pooped in the dining room."fallon's response: "Who?" 4951
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Annie Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 6 years ago   Oct 28, '17 8:52pm  
The week @Fallon and Hubby got their new puppy, Hubby caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day. That afternoon, fallon called to check up on him."I'm okay," he said. "But guess who pooped in the dining room."fallon's response: "Who?"
 
@FoFa:
 
Knowing @Fallon, there better not be any poopin' in nondesignated areas!
 
4951
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