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Stupid Jokes

Stupid Jokes

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by: squirtismyboy Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 5:06am  
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What’ll it be buddy?"
 
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.
 
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have"
 
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
 
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
 
Now post yours! 4951
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Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 5:32am  
It's too damn early for me to think of any.  Maybe later. 4951
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ExBlue Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 5:43am  
A young pastor was sitting in a restaurant eating lunch. He opened a letter he’d just received that morning from his mom. As he opened it a twenty dollar bill fell out. He thought to himself, "Thanks, Mom, I sure needed that right now."
 
As he finished his meal, he noticed a beggar outside on the sidewalk leaning against the light post. Thinking that the poor man could probably use the twenty dollars more than he, he crossed out the names on the envelope and wrote across the top in large letters, "PERSEVERE!" So as not to make a scene, he put the envelope under his arm and dropped it as he walked past the man. The man picked it up, read the message and smiled.
 
The next day, as the pastor enjoyed his meal, the same man tapped him on the shoulder and handed him a big wad of bills. Surprised, the young pastor asked him what that was for.
 
The man replied, “This is your half of the winnings. Persevere came in first in the fourth race at the track yesterday and paid thirty to one.” 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 8:45am  
#jokes
 
Loading Image... 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 8:47am  
#jokes
 
Loading Image... 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 8:51am  
#jokes
 
Loading Image... 4951
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jax Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 9:33am  
Guy walks into a bar....
 
Says OWWWW!!!!
 
4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 9:51am  
At the KDC offices awhile back.@boobear, I just don't understand how these computer thingies work. Yall always talk about "programs" and "coding". I don't get it.KDC, A program is written in something called CODE, and it is basically a bunch of instructions that tell the CPU what to do.BB, so what is this CEEPOO thing?KDC, think of it as a rock we tricked into thinking.BB, so there is a thinking ROCK in my computer? And I paid hundreds of dollars for a stupid rock!KDC well, to be fair, you have to flatten the rock, then put lightning inside of it. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 1:03pm  
@sandyknee wanted to try this new 3D printing she had heard so much about."I don't get it" she said
 
Loading Image... 4951
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podunk Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 1:11pm  
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
 
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."
 
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."
 
The two sat sipping in silence.
 
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
 
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian." 4951
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Ruger5 Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 1:13pm  
[ Removed by Request ] 4951
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podunk Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 1:16pm  
Q:What do you call a smart blonde?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
A: A golden retriever. 4951
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podunk Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 1:24pm  
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. “Give me a couple of steaks,” he says. “We’re out of steaks but we have hotdogs and chicken,” says the butcher. “Hotdogs and chicken?!” yells the hunter. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?” 4951
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Ruger5 Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 1:30pm  
[ Removed by Request ] 4951
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VIP Active Indicator LED Icon 1
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 3:44pm  
My wife told me she needs more space. I said no problem and locked her out ofthe house. 4951
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VIP Active Indicator LED Icon 1
~ 6 years ago   Jul 3, '17 3:50pm  
I went to the doctor today and he said do you play any dangerous sports?I said...Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife. 4951
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