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by: Ann2800 Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 2:41am  
I won't get my results til Wed. Holiday Monday. Just want to be honest with you. Love to you
 
I started this journey at 38 and now I'm 57. 18 years of struggling, raising my two beautiful girls that are now 24 and 30.
I am on Ibrance and my counts and body strength is just not coming back. My core family is gone. My soul mate died last January. I see my kids with careers and doing ok. I've been so tired lately. I can water a few plants and have to lay down. I don't cook anymore and haven't driven a car for a couple months. I have run through my hormonals and my onc will not give me a break because my liver is full and cancer is still spreading most recently to my other hip. I feel ibrance or the cancer is breaking me. I can't tell which.
After almost 20 years I'm recognizing a minds shift I no longer have that fight but have slowly lost that magnetic feeling of wanting to be drawn to this earth. That's strange because I have fought so long
My prayers have changed to bind my cancer to your will be done. I'm not depressed just ok with whatever the next move is. Enough is enough the lack of energy and get up and go is making it worse. I'm not afraid of dying I know this is not end of the road. I'M not as obsessed with scans etc. I feel relieved right now for now I just put myself in God's hands. I do cry a lot that my body is not responding again. I'm in God's hand I can no longer struggle. 4951
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patannel Active Indicator LED Icon  New Member
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 2:59am  
My husband chose hospice care when all else had been done. He passed peacefully with no regrets. We can make the choice! 4951
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TXSunDvl Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 3:01am  
I won't get my results til Wed. Holiday Monday. Just want to be honest with you. Love to you
 
I started this journey at 38 and now I'm 57. 18 years of struggling, raising my two beautiful girls that are now 24 and 30.
I am on Ibrance and my counts and body strength is just not coming back. My core family is gone. My soul mate died last January. I see my kids with careers and doing ok. I've been so tired lately. I can water a few plants and have to lay down. I don't cook anymore and haven't driven a car for a couple months. I have run through my hormonals and my onc will not give me a break because my liver is full and cancer is still spreading most recently to my other hip. I feel ibrance or the cancer is breaking me. I can't tell which.
After almost 20 years I'm recognizing a minds shift I no longer have that fight but have slowly lost that magnetic feeling of wanting to be drawn to this earth. That's strange because I have fought so long
My prayers have changed to bind my cancer to your will be done. I'm not depressed just ok with whatever the next move is. Enough is enough the lack of energy and get up and go is making it worse. I'm not afraid of dying I know this is not end of the road. I'M not as obsessed with scans etc. I feel relieved right now for now I just put myself in God's hands. I do cry a lot that my body is not responding again. I'm in God's hand I can no longer struggle.
 
@Ann2800:
 
Dear Ann. I have been following your challenges for quite a while, and hopeing for a cure. I am so sorry it has come to this point. Is there anything I can do for you to make your life easier, like bringing you food, clean, etc. I am a 24/7 caregiver for my wife who is disabled,but I will be happy to do what I can to help.
 
4951
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SandyKnee Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 6:45am  
[ Removed By Request ] 4951
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klp1972 Active Indicator LED Icon 7
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 7:20am  
@Ann2800: I can't begin to know what to say... I know you must be so tired of fighting, but it sounds like you are at peace. God has taken care of you so far and will continue to do so. My thoughts and prayers will continue that God's will be done. God Bless You. 4951
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TexasOma Active Indicator LED Icon 14
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 7:24am  
Hugs and love!
 
Prayers will continue for you to have strength and peace.
 
4951
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sweetie Active Indicator LED Icon 11 Forum Moderator
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 8:15am  
Ann2800, my prayers continue for you. I think you once said you were going to get a different drug in March. I don't know if that's the one you are on or not. I pray your results are better. If you need anything, please let me know. ann2800, we are all here for you. We pray for you daily. We love you so much. 4951
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cowboysfan0314 Active Indicator LED Icon 1
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 4:39pm  
Prayers and hugs coming your way Me Ann2800 4951
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Stealth83 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 4:56pm  
Removed By Request 4951
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lola Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 7:01pm  
It's just a shame knowing the end is near and you are too sick to enjoy the time you have left.
Given that you've been battling for so long, maybe you have enjoyed and done things that some of us have put off until 'tomorrow' - a reminder for us that tomorrow isn't promised and we should live with no regrets.
Be proud of those things you accomplished and experienced - memories you've created for not only yourself, but those you leave behind.
Please know that you have left a positive impression on your KDC friends. We know Ann as being strong and brave with faith in God - all admirable qualities.
4951
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Zoey Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 7:28pm  
I'm wishing you all the very best, Ann2800, sweet lady! Love ❤️ & hugs!! 4951
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teatime Active Indicator LED Icon 7
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 7:42pm  
4951
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MarT Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 7:56pm  
Hugs for you Ann, I hope you wring out as much joy as possible from this life, as you look forward. You are a good example for us all. 4951
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coco1248 Active Indicator LED Icon 7
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 8:03pm  
My core family is gone

@Ann2800: Dear Ann your core family still there, and your magnetic magnificent field still alive. Is hard to accept help and understandably so just as well is hard to accept the limitations that illnesses and growing older imposes on us. Accept the help offered to you by your friends and all those who care for your well being--do not refuse it--embrace it. We may think we are who determine our purpose in life is completed but we really do not know for certain that ALL our purposes are yet to be completed. May our Lord God grant you the strength on a positive light. Cheers and smile to yourself Emoticon even if you do not "feel" like smiling. 
 
 
4951
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Cajunmom Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 8:05pm  
Oh my goodness darling, I don't know what to say or type.  Just know that you always have an army of prayer for you.  If you need anything, please let us know.   We love you. 4951
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deltadawn Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   Feb 18, '17 8:20pm  
@Ann2800 - Much love and continued prayers for you. Whatever happens as we go forward, know that you have touched many lives. Felix and I hope you are able to enjoy your remaining time in this relm. The choices going forward are yours to make, and don't let any doctor tell you what have to do, they give you choices and you choose. Big squishy hugs my friend, and quiet purrs from Felix. 4951
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