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Alcohol consumption

Alcohol consumption

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by: Strofan Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 7 years ago   May 30, '16 10:17pm  
What
are the signs a waitress should look for in excessive alcohol consumption of a
patron? I have witnessed several bars in the area that do not limit a friend of
mine on their consumption. Does it lie on the patron (I think not) or the
establishment? The establishments have NEVER called a cab. My friend is smart
enough to call Uber or myself for a ride. But I am not happy that all the bars
car about is how much $ they get off their patron. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 7 years ago   May 30, '16 10:54pm  
It might depend on if they have been sued.
 
After all, "establishments" aren't babysitters. If the patron is alone, they might pay closer attention and refuse to serve, but since you are there, to witness this, they might be quietly monitoring you both and assume you are sober and capable of being the caretaker, getting her home or at least putting her in a cab.
 
Sounds like you have a friend with a problem and perhaps bars aren't the best places for you two to spend time. Maybe switch to places that don't serve alcohol, or focus more time on friends that can be satisfied with just a glass or two of alcohol of choice.
 
It's easy to place blame elsewhere but your friend and her family are responsible for her care and treatment, but you need to stop being another enabler.
 
If you know she drinks too much and you take or go with her to a bar, you can't seriously expect to look to the bar to stop her over consumption. You and your friend are grown enough to go and drink, and you need to be grown enough to be responsible, smart and safe about it. 4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 12:20am  
It might depend on if they have been sued.
 
After all, "establishments" aren't babysitters. If the patron is alone, they might pay closer attention and refuse to serve, but since you are there, to witness this, they might be quietly monitoring you both and assume you are sober and capable of being the caretaker, getting her home or at least putting her in a cab.
 
Sounds like you have a friend with a problem and perhaps bars aren't the best places for you two to spend time. Maybe switch to places that don't serve alcohol, or focus more time on friends that can be satisfied with just a glass or two of alcohol of choice.
 
It's easy to place blame elsewhere but your friend and her family are responsible for her care and treatment, but you need to stop being another enabler.
 
If you know she drinks too much and you take or go with her to a bar, you can't seriously expect to look to the bar to stop her over consumption. You and your friend are grown enough to go and drink, and you need to be grown enough to be responsible, smart and safe about it.
 
@donnatella:
Ditto
If your contributing to your friends downfall. One day it may be both your demise.
Why are either one of you being stupid and drinking and driving? It's like playing Russian roulette. Not if it's gonna happen but when.
grow up. Either be a good friend or no friend. That's your choice. A good friend would sit her down and say look, I love you but your f'n it up royal.
Btw seems bars are your choice too. Bad decisions.
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 12:21am  
It might depend on if they have been sued.
 
After all, "establishments" aren't babysitters. If the patron is alone, they might pay closer attention and refuse to serve, but since you are there, to witness this, they might be quietly monitoring you both and assume you are sober and capable of being the caretaker, getting her home or at least putting her in a cab.
 
Sounds like you have a friend with a problem and perhaps bars aren't the best places for you two to spend time. Maybe switch to places that don't serve alcohol, or focus more time on friends that can be satisfied with just a glass or two of alcohol of choice.
 
It's easy to place blame elsewhere but your friend and her family are responsible for her care and treatment, but you need to stop being another enabler.
 
If you know she drinks too much and you take or go with her to a bar, you can't seriously expect to look to the bar to stop her over consumption. You and your friend are grown enough to go and drink, and you need to be grown enough to be responsible, smart and safe about it.
 
@donnatella:
Ditto
If your contributing to your friends downfall. One day it may be both your demise.
Why are either one of you being stupid and drinking and driving? It's like playing Russian roulette. Not if it's gonna happen but when.
grow up. Either be a good friend or no friend. That's your choice. A good friend would sit her down and say look, I love you but your f'n it up royal.
Btw seems bars are your choice too. Bad decisions.
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 12:21am  
It might depend on if they have been sued.
 
After all, "establishments" aren't babysitters. If the patron is alone, they might pay closer attention and refuse to serve, but since you are there, to witness this, they might be quietly monitoring you both and assume you are sober and capable of being the caretaker, getting her home or at least putting her in a cab.
 
Sounds like you have a friend with a problem and perhaps bars aren't the best places for you two to spend time. Maybe switch to places that don't serve alcohol, or focus more time on friends that can be satisfied with just a glass or two of alcohol of choice.
 
It's easy to place blame elsewhere but your friend and her family are responsible for her care and treatment, but you need to stop being another enabler.
 
If you know she drinks too much and you take or go with her to a bar, you can't seriously expect to look to the bar to stop her over consumption. You and your friend are grown enough to go and drink, and you need to be grown enough to be responsible, smart and safe about it.
 
@donnatella:
Ditto
If your contributing to your friends downfall. One day it may be both your demise.
Why are either one of you being stupid and drinking and driving? It's like playing Russian roulette. Not if it's gonna happen but when.
grow up. Either be a good friend or no friend. That's your choice. A good friend would sit her down and say look, I love you but your f'n it up royal.
Btw seems bars are your choice too. Bad decisions.
4951
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txyankee66 Active Indicator LED Icon  New Member
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 12:29am  
As a former TABC license holder, I can tell you that legally if a person appears to be intoxicated to a server or seller (using their best judgement), then they cannot be served any more alcoholic beverages period. Being a former manager for several local gas stations/convenience stores, It was company policy that if a patron came in and they "appeared" to be intoxicated we could not sell them ANY alcohol. In fact if they appeared intoxicated, we were instructed to strongly ask them to stay on premises to sober up a bit. If they attempted to leave THEN we had to inform them that if they didn't stay, the we were bound by company policy to inform the police of their description, car and license plate #.
 
As far as bars go, I'm sure that they should follow similar protocol. TABC does not mess around and tickets are issued not only to the business, but also the server. Fines are typically in the 1000's. If you think that there are violations occurring, you can call TABC anonymously to report. TABC performs stings regularly and they will check them out. I had to fire on the spot an assistant manager of mine because she didn't card a 22yo (TABC employee) for a beer and cigarettes purchase. She got 2 tickets (1 for each) which I later found our totalled @3600.00.
 
I don't want intoxicated drivers on the road any more than anyone else so if you think bars or waitstaff are disregarding the law then it is up to you to do something about it.
Just my .02. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 5:14am  
As a former TABC license holder...if you think bars or waitstaff are disregarding the law then it is up to you to do something about it.
Just my .02.
 
@txyankee66: So that is basically releasing the OP of any responsibility, giving her a free license to continue the enabling behavior, which is what it appears she came here looking for.
 
I certainly hope, for the local businesses' sake, that there is a bit more to the process. It is criminal to continue to take someone with a problem out, aiding and abetting, them, then blame and accuse location after location, without bearing some of the responsibility. SMH.
4951
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Chrisinkingwood Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 7:13am  
My DW and I do most of our drinking at home, it's safer and cheaper! 4951
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Stealth83 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 7:15am  
Removed By Request 4951
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yankeejessica Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 7:39am  
My best friend is a bartender at a local bar in porter. She has one more than one occasion refused to serve someone anymore because they were intoxicated. She has also on more than 1 occasion called a cab for someone or personally driven them home 4951
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Maisey1 Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 7:47am  
In Texas and many other states Dram Shop Laws dictate that the establishment serving alcohol is responsible for any injuries that occur should one of their patrons injure another due to serving someone obviously intoxicated. Is this right or fair to the establishment? Probably not as one would think personal responsibility would prevail, but I'm thinking that since the person drinking too much and most likely their friends are not paying attention to the amount of alcohol getting consumed, it is now up to the server and the establishment to "keep watch" over that person. The scary part is, the person in question could get asked to leave on bar, go to another and get served a drink then asked to leave, go to another and get severed then asked to leave, then get into an accident and kill someone. Then, all the bars, including the very first, one get pulled into an lawsuit and can face stiff penalties if shown that the person served was obviously intoxicated. It sounds like your friend needs some AA meetings rather than expecting the bars to babysit her, though. 4951
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Strofan Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 7 years ago   May 31, '16 11:16pm  
OK...#1...I don't think I referred to my friend as a "female" and I don't start off at the bars with my friend. He goes on his own, calls me after the fact he has been there for hours. So I am NOT taking my friend to the bars. And I must say he does admit he is a "functioning alcoholic" but the one think I am thankful for is I have NEVER seen him drive when leaving a bar intoxicated. He calls Uber, calls a cab or calls me ON HIS OWN! But I think the wait staff should be more trained in how/when to cut him off. The wait staff have NEVER offered to call a cab for him.  And I just think that is wrong.To the person who wrote about the friend that works in Porter that will cut someone off, THANK GOD for her!  That is what my initial message intention was for. I don't see bartenders/waitresses cutting my friend off, they are all about the sale.Thank you all for your input.  I know the bartenders are not to be babysitters but there are alcoholics out there and it is hard to get them to accept or want the help. I can't keep an eye on him at all times as I am not his babysitter or his girlfriend neither.  I just have to pray one day he will overcome this addiction 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 7 years ago   Jun 1, '16 3:00am  
OK...#1...I don't think I referred to my friend as a "female" and I don't start off at the bars with my friend. He goes on his own, calls me after the fact he has been there for hours. So I am NOT taking my friend to the bars. And I must say he does admit he is a "functioning alcoholic" but the one think I am thankful for is I have NEVER seen him drive when leaving a bar intoxicated. He calls Uber, calls a cab or calls me ON HIS OWN! But I think the wait staff should be more trained in how/when to cut him off. The wait staff have NEVER offered to call a cab for him.  And I just think that is wrong.To the person who wrote about the friend that works in Porter that will cut someone off, THANK GOD for her!  That is what my initial message intention was for. I don't see bartenders/waitresses cutting my friend off, they are all about the sale.Thank you all for your input.  I know the bartenders are not to be babysitters but there are alcoholics out there and it is hard to get them to accept or want the help. I can't keep an eye on him at all times as I am not his babysitter or his girlfriend neither.  I just have to pray one day he will overcome this addiction
 
@Strofan: If he is a functioning alcoholic, as you say, he might be quite good at maintaining his composure and not appearing to be drunk. Since everyone is different, bartenders and waitstaff go by the patrons behavior. Sounds like he does this well, has it down enough to call you, and is together enough to know not to drive. Again, you seem to be expecting the establishment to count drinks and guess based on the behavior of a well rehearsed, professional-like drinker. Seems like it is time to be a real friend, involve his family, other friends, etc., and try to get him help either voluntarily or involuntarily. This is more than one person can handle on their own. Again, expecting the location to babysit for him is just not enough, especially since he is an admitted function alcoholic. The staff may never know with him and that would be their defense.
4951
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Safety44 Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 7 years ago   Jun 1, '16 6:11am  
What
are the signs a waitress should look for in excessive alcohol consumption of a
patron? I have witnessed several bars in the area that do not limit a friend of
mine on their consumption. Does it lie on the patron (I think not) or the
establishment? The establishments have NEVER called a cab. My friend is smart
enough to call Uber or myself for a ride. But I am not happy that all the bars
car about is how much $ they get off their patron.
 
@Strofan: Please don't take this wrong, but it's not a bar owner's responsibility to relieve you or your friend of doing what is right.
If a person needs help to overcome a bad (and dangerous) condition, he or she needs to seek help.
Stop blaming others for your incapabities. If you're old enough to drink, you're old enough to drink responsible. The bar owner is not your babysitter.
You're hearing this from a person who lost his daughter because she killed herself in a drunken car accident. (key words are killed herself).
I pray you and your friend get the help needed (and don't hurt yourself or others).
 
Edited after reading your response to other texts. I also prayed my daughter would grow out of it. She didn't! But I thank God every day that he kept her from taking others with her.
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   Jun 1, '16 6:56am  
OK...#1...I don't think I referred to my friend as a "female" and I don't start off at the bars with my friend. He goes on his own, calls me after the fact he has been there for hours. So I am NOT taking my friend to the bars. And I must say he does admit he is a "functioning alcoholic" but the one think I am thankful for is I have NEVER seen him drive when leaving a bar intoxicated. He calls Uber, calls a cab or calls me ON HIS OWN! But I think the wait staff should be more trained in how/when to cut him off. The wait staff have NEVER offered to call a cab for him.  And I just think that is wrong.To the person who wrote about the friend that works in Porter that will cut someone off, THANK GOD for her!  That is what my initial message intention was for. I don't see bartenders/waitresses cutting my friend off, they are all about the sale.Thank you all for your input.  I know the bartenders are not to be babysitters but there are alcoholics out there and it is hard to get them to accept or want the help. I can't keep an eye on him at all times as I am not his babysitter or his girlfriend neither.  I just have to pray one day he will overcome this addiction
 
@Strofan:
 
I used to be bartender and worked in many states. Most made us take a class with the police department. They talked about laws, how to spot fake id's and spot a drunk. Told us our responsibility as the bartender and what we were legally able to do.
We have a right to refuse service for any reason. Not 4 hours after my Tempe Arizona class I was at work when this guy came in. He didn't smell like alcohol but he staggered in, bellied up and hung onto the bar tight. I refused to serve him. He was belligerent and started tossing bar stools insisting he wanted a beer and he wasn't drunk. I told him he did not have to be drunk for me to refuse him service. A bar tender while on duty is not allowed out from behind the bar to deal with it. I had my boys there and they got him out while I called 911. They plucked the guy out of the bushes down the street and brought him back for identification. They found a bunch of drugs on him. If I had served him and he walked outside and got run over, I could have been responsible.
As far as Someone admitting they are a functioning alcoholic is a red flag. Some you would never know it. Yet you expect a bar or a bar tender to know a stranger's deepest secret?
You come on here looking for validation that bars should be responsible. Where is your responsibility as a friend? You say you don't take him to bars , yet that's not how I read your OP. Sounds likes all your friend wants to do is drink so you go to bars where they drink too much and then you get upset.
Then when you didn't get the response you wanted, you attacked. So juvenile.
Fact is your friend is an adult, responsible for his life choices. Glad he chooses not to drink and drive.
You can always call him a car rather than go get him if you choose but you can not blame anyone else for his or your choices.
4951
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Stealth83 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 7 years ago   Jun 1, '16 7:11am  
Removed By Request 4951
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