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If your daughter was getting married...

If your daughter was getting married...

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by: zed19910 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:16pm  
Would you care whether your future son in law asked for your blessings prior to proposing? or is that just super old-fashioned? My friends and I were discussing this topic earlier and I would like to hear other opinions.  4951
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J2911 Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:18pm  
Would you care whether your future son in law asked for your blessings prior to proposing? or is that just super old-fashioned? My friends and I were discussing this topic earlier and I would like to hear other opinions. 
 
@zed19910:
 
I would care but not enough to boycott the wedding. 4951
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taramay Active Indicator LED Icon 14
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:19pm  
Maybe he doesn't need to ask. But I believe a conversation should be had man to man. Or man to woman, whatever. 4951
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podunk Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:20pm  
I really don't know. I didn't ask. I was told that I wasn't marrying my FIL so I had nothing to ask. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:25pm  
Yes, it may be old-fashioned, but it's still a courtesy that's a really good thing to do. It doesn't have to be anything formal. Simply going out for a beer, one on one, and talk about future plans with the FIL, would be sufficient. It's just the courtesy and the effort, but not a deal breaker or anything to hold a grudge over. 4951
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TEXASGIRLMAMMA Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:40pm  
Yes, he should have a talk with the future FIL.  I think it's nice for the parents and makes them feel more comfortable.   My daughter is dating a guy who asked her dad if he could date her so I'm sure he will talk to my DH again before he asked her to marry him.  Who knows, It may not get to that. 4951
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TEXASGIRLMAMMA Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:43pm  
I would care but not enough to boycott the wedding.
@J2911:   If he did not ask I would not boycott the wedding either. 
4951
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BusyMommy Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 10:56pm  
NO.  She is an adult and should be treated as one.  She is not property!I had a friend who made her husband ask her dad and they lived together.  He didn't ask the dad to live with her, but he did to marry her, LOL.  Why? 4951
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zed19910 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 11:08pm  
NO.  She is an adult and should be treated as one.  She is not property!I had a friend who made her husband ask her dad and they lived together.  He didn't ask the dad to live with her, but he did to marry her, LOL.  Why?
 
@BusyMommy: THATS HILARIOUS! In their case I don't see a point of asking. I don't see it as a matter of "property" but rather a small gesture of respect to both your FIL and your future spouse. It's not really "permission"
4951
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mommyof5 Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 11:17pm  
Heck yes he should ask. It is a sign of respect for all. 4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 11:35pm  
Definitely old fashioned, but there's nothing wrong with that.  My son gets the door for his mother, sister, and girlfriend.  In today's world, that's old fashioned but it's still cool.  I don't have a preference as far as my daughter is concerned.  If when the time comes her man feels like he needs to ask me I'll return the respect and honor it, but at the beginning, middle, and end of the day the only thing that matters to me even a little bit is her happiness.  If she's happy, I'm happy.  All of the pomp and circumstance around that is just noise.    4951
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Annie Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 11:43pm  
Hubby proposed to me and I asked if he asked my mom.  He said no he had not.  I told him after he asked and got her blessing that I would happily wear the engagement ring.  He was so anxious, we immediately went to her house.  She was in her nightgown and bathrobe.  Lol 4951
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zed19910 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 7 years ago   May 29, '16 11:55pm  
Hubby proposed to me and I asked if he asked my mom.  He said no he had not.  I told him after he asked and got her blessing that I would happily wear the engagement ring.  He was so anxious, we immediately went to her house.  She was in her nightgown and bathrobe.  Lol
 
@Annie: Awww! That's adorable! :D 
4951
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BusyMommy Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 7 years ago   May 30, '16 12:21am  
I forgot to add that if I had a problem with her marrying a guy, TRUST ME I would make my opinion known long before a proposal came!  4951
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Metro07 Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 7 years ago   May 30, '16 1:56am  
Would you care whether your future son in law asked for your blessings prior to proposing? or is that just super old-fashioned? My friends and I were discussing this topic earlier and I would like to hear other opinions. 
 
@zed19910: Does your daughter still live with you?  If not I would say no I don't think it is.  If your daughter still lived in your house while they were dating I would lean yes.   If your family were very religious I would say maybe but if it was that important I would think the daughter would let boyfriends know if they ever got to the point of wanting to get married he would need to talk to her parents out of respect.  As long as the future son in law has a good personality, can hold down a job and is responsible I would not worry about it, they are 2 grown adults.
4951
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rske476537 Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 7 years ago   May 30, '16 10:17am  
Yes-- ask. Especially if her parents are old fashioned. Why not?  It is never a bad thing to show her parents respect---(or any old person)---sets a good tone and basis for the future --once you marry, you be part of their family and will need to make adjustments and allowances. If is is a deal breaker for you then you probably should not be marrying her.IF her parents are liberal progressives then it probably does not matter-- they may think it corny. 4951
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