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age differential in relationship

age differential in relationship

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by: buddyboy Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:07pm  
is 15 years (like man 45 and woman 30 for example)  too big of an age differential in a relationship? will that couple not have enough in common? 4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:24pm  
@buddyboyMy friend, what a most thought provoking topic you have proposed, and in my but humble, personal belief, Sir, "No"....  That's not at all too big of an age difference to find mutual respect, and a true connection...  I mean, you can quite easily find common ground in morals, values, humor, a spiritual connection, interests, hobbies.....   And it's also quite possible that true love isn't found, but built, one day, one conversation, and a single glimpse of light at a time.....   
 
4951
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MarT Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:25pm  
This is anecdotal, but I have two sisters that married men that much older and neither marriage worked out. The age difference, cultural references, outlook on life was too different.
 
With that said, it all depends on many things. I would not have ever dated someone that much older. 4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:32pm  
I think at that age it becomes more about maturity and interests.
You can flip it too, older woman younger man but again life goals play a part.
Guys call woman cougars.
Why? When did people become to interested in other people's business?
Why do you care what other's think if your life is good and happy?
Don't allow strangers to squash your spirit. If your not harming anyone, they should shut up and push their noses down.
If this is about your scenario, go for it and see where it goes. If you are two single adults, those judging are jealous. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:35pm  
15 years is a gap, but with 45/30, as long as the 45 can keep up, and their interests match, I see no problem with it.  4951
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BBQguy Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:36pm  
is 15 years (like man 45 and woman 30 for example)  too big of an age differential in a relationship? will that couple not have enough in common?
 
@buddyboy: That's gonna depend on the couple, I guess. Because personality/intelligence/maturity know no age, I don't see why it would make a difference.My mom is 12 years younger than my stepdad. They've been married for 24 years. I never really noticed a problem until the last few years...He's had some "senior" health problems arise and my mom is a busy body, so she has to slow down for him sometimes. I do think it's a little creepy if one of them is very young, like 18-21, and the other is in their 30's or even older. That's just a perception thing though..And probably stems from me having daughters, and worrying about some thirty-something **** luring them away in their late teens. Emoticon  4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:41pm  
For @BBQGuy:
 
4951
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friday1 Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 10:50pm  
@donnatella#10 could be taken the wrong way. Could be a 2 fer 4951
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fcabanski Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Jun 12, '15 11:49pm  
Why would you ask strangers? 4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 12:20am  
Removed By Request 4951
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magnoliamam Active Indicator LED Icon 7
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 4:31am  
during the relationship it seems not to matter most of the time......but remember, one person is probably through maturing, and the other one has not finished....you have to deal with jealousy and insecurityand if it lasts many years,  towards the end health issues will set in.....that's when it really makes a difference....the relationship goes from lover/lover to patient/nurse........you don't think about that at the very start of the relationship....i know of what i speak......I lived itwouldn't recommend it for most people - but no one will listen to that warning believe me 4951
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Mahm Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 5:18am  
but no one will listen to that warning believe me
 
@magnoliamam:
 
You are so right. I think most people when asking this sort of question already know what they want to do. They are mostly looking for validation. But as @herron1345 pointed out, this is an interesting topic.
 
After my 1st marriage with someone 5 years older, then my 2nd marriage with someone 3 years younger, I thought I would want to find someone significantly older. I thought that would be necessary to be on the same level and share the same goals. What I discovered is that immaturity exists in every age group and it really depends on the person. It also depends on what values are important to you and if you're compatible. I had a crush on a coworker who was 15 years older than me. Our kids were the same ages and I thought we had a lot in common. I think he felt that I was too young for him. When I asked him to go out for coffee, he told me as a single dad with a demanding work schedule, he didn't have time to date. Then I found that he was actually interested in another, older coworker. Then my DH came along, and he is 7 years younger than me. I know that's not a huge difference, but I was skeptical. As it turns out, he is one of the most responsible and hard working men I have ever known. My point is, it really depends on the person. 4951
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SenseOfHumor Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 6:00am  
Allow me to play devil's advocate.  When I read your question, I immediately put myself in that position.  I am a 53 year old female so for me, my mate would be 68.  Even as mature adults, I can't fathom it.  At this point in my life, I am working to get my daughter thru College.  My mate would have "been there, done that".  Would there be sexual compatability?  Would his family (assuming he would have adult children) perceive me as a "gold-digger"?  At 30/45, there would be a world of difference in life experiences.  She is of child-bearing age and he is past that.  Some serious conversations would need to take place for sure.  Potentially, this male could be just years younger than the girls parents. In all honesty, if one of my 30 yr old friends announced she was dating a 45 yr. old, I would question both of their motives. But at the end of the day, the decision is up to 2 people.  If it works for them, then go forth and prosper.  Happiness is a good thing and finding it is a blessing! 4951
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buffaloglenn Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 6:41am  
It means that the younger person can begin changing the adult diapers 15 years earlier than they otherwise would, had they married someone about their own age. Sad but true! My grandmother married someone 20 years her senior. It was a financial arrangement for her, and he got a domestic servant. Neither was happy, but that's how they rolled back in the day. 4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 6:50am  
is 15 years (like man 45 and woman 30 for example)  too big of an age differential in a relationship? will that couple not have enough in common?
 
@buddyboy:
 
My MIL was 20 years younger than my FIL. They got married when she was 20. They had a wonderful relationship until he finally passed away in his 80s. Every situation is different and takes lots of thought and prayer.
 
I have been thinking on this topic myself because my DD is such an old soul at only 19. I cant ever imagine her settling down with someone her own age unless they are an old soul too. I wouldnt like it i she took up with someone 20 years older than her, but i almost expect it. 4951
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thegoodwife Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 8 years ago   Jun 13, '15 7:00am  
We have friends, he's 53 - she's 33 and they have a great relationship & have for close to 10 yrs. She was probably mature when she was 12. She's a bit too reserved for her age, butt she can be fun and a real nice person.  They are very adventurous together.  Skydiving, you name it they will do it. They're both in the same profession. Because of work sometimes they live together & sometimes they are in different parts of the world. When you look at them you can't even tell the age difference. 4951
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