Don't miss what's happening in Kingwood
People on Kingwood.com are the first to know.
Go to top of page
Close
 
Close
Back
* CONTEST TODAY: 24 Hours Only - Win a $25 Gift Card to Panera Bread!  Ends in 1 hr, 10 mins Read more »

You must be an Engineer...

You must be an Engineer...

12»
« Back
This discussion has been locked.
Message Menu
by: elguapo Active Indicator LED Icon 15 OP 
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 9:04am  
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: :Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.""You must be an engineer" says the balloonist."I am" replies the man. "How did you know?""Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."The man below says "You must be a manager.""I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?""Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault." 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
What are your thoughts? Log in or sign up to comment
Replies:
Message Menu
kingwooddiscgolf Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 9:05am  
excellent.................... 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 9:08am  
Removed By Request 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 9:12am  
LMAO. Sounds like Corporate America, which should be a sitcom! 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
WJo Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 11:01am  
Dewhurst  is running for senate & he said just about the same thing (LOL)....I have no idea if he is republican or democrate but from what he says I just might vote for him (LOL) kind of like a "pig in a poke" (LOL) 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 11:10am  
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?" The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool." 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 11:11am  
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done." 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
lola Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 11:12am  

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
@FoFa:
 
Emoticon 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
pharlap Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 12:32pm  
I love these.  Emoticon
Where are you @Retired_Engineer:  ????? 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 12:55pm  
Definition of an EngineerWhat is the definition of an engineer? Answer: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had, in a way you don't understand.
4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 12:56pm  
Engineer and Mathematician (males) were given the opportunity to compete for a very attractive woman. But there was one condition: "You can only run half the remaining distance between you and the lady". Eng. sprinted forward while Math. didn't. Why aren't you running? Asked members of the Committee. Because, by definition, I will never be allowed to reach my target. And you Eng. why are you running? Don't you know the same? Yes, said Eng. my learned friend is correct. But I will get close enough for all practical purposes.
4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 12:57pm  
Engineer PrioritiesAn engineering major sees classmate riding up on a new bike and asks when he got it. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 1:03pm  
The Engineer and the Red Rubber BallA mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball sreadsheet. 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 1:41pm  
The Doctor, Chemisist and Engineer in a Bit of A Bad SpotOnce upon a time there lived three men: a doctor, a chemist, and an engineer. For some reason all three offended the king and were sentenced to die on the same day.The day of the execution arrived, and the doctor was led up to the guillotine.As he strapped the doctor to the guillotine, the executioner asked, "Head up or head down?""Head up," said the doctor."Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised the axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped barely an inch above the doctor's neck. Well, the law stated that if an execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the doctor was set free.Then the chemist was led up to the guillotine."Head up or head down?" said the executioner."Head up.""Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised his axe, and z-z-z-z-ing! Down came the blade--and stopped an inch above the chemist's neck. Well, the law stated that if the execution didn't succeed the first time the prisoner had to be released, so the chemist was set free.Finally the engineer was led up to the guillotine."Head up or head down?""Head up.""Blindfold or no blindfold?""No blindfold."So the executioner raised his axe, but before he could cut the rope, the engineer yelled out:"WAIT! I see what the problem is!" 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 2:58pm  
I love these.  Emoticon
Where are you @Retired_Engineer:  ?????
 
@pharlap:   I'm finally here.  Love the posts!  I are an engineer and proud of it!
4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
Message Menu
Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 11 years ago   Apr 26, '12 3:09pm  
Two Engineers agree to paint a flag pole. Of
course they need to know how tall it is so they can purchase the paint.
One shimmies up the pole with a tape measure and falls after reaching
about half way. While trying to figure out how they can possibly measure
the pole along comes a Designer. After asking what they're doing he
replies, "that s easy". He then reaches around the pole and pulls it out
of the ground and lays it down. "There you go", he said as he walked
away. The two Engineers look at each other and one said "that stupid guy
will never get anywhere, we don't need to know how wide it is, just how
tall". 4951
* Reactions disabled on political threads.
12»
This discussion has been locked.
« Back to Main Page
Views: 6,408
# Replies: 29

Pet Ranch Inc.




Megaton Brewery Logo Houston Custom Carpets Flooring & Remodeling Logo Kingwood Mortgage Guy Logo Anthony Electric Co. Logo beem Light Sauna Kingwood Logo Sharky's Waterfront Grill Logo Fire Craft BBQ Logo Heartstrings In-Home Euthanasia Services Logo K&S Sportswear Logo iSchool High Atascocita  Logo Ann's Teahouse Logo Darst Funeral Home Logo Primrose School of Atascocita Logo Equinox Outdoor Lighting Logo Crust Pizza Co. - Kingwood Docks Logo Back Pew Brewing Logo K's Autohaus Logo Rowland Ballard  Logo Elite Hospital Kingwood Logo T.A.P.S Home Repair & Remodeling  Logo Anytime Pest Elimination  Logo The Brass Tap Kingwood Logo Club Studio Logo Truwin - Windows, Doors & Siding  Logo Lampson Retirement Solutions Logo Handal's Roofing Logo Always Best Care Humble Kingwood Logo T & K Electric Logo Steven Byers Attorney At Law & Mediator Logo G & S Tire and Auto Logo Advanced Appliance Repair Logo AFC Urgent Care Kingwood Logo
Sponsor an ad Sponsor an Ad »