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! Sex !

! Sex !

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by: Ray Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 11 years ago   Jun 30, '12 8:27pm  
ANDY
ROONEY ON SEX!

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a
good memory... 
I don't remember what I chose. 

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom
factory. 

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she
objects. 

4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard
feelings..." 

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to
men - 'don't' and 
'stop', unless they are used together. 

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best
thing on earth. 

7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try
Weekly and Try 
Weakly. 

8. Virginity can be cured. 

9. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity. 

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a
good partner, you better have a good hand. 

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too
small. 

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the
enemy. 

13. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
     Answer: The same thing as a French
kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He
was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing. 

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's
life?
     Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the
wife doesn't 

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
     Answer: Breasts don't have eyes. 

17. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed',
many men still sleep with their wives!
4951
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pharlap Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 11 years ago   Jun 30, '12 8:32pm  
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mardigrasman Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 11 years ago   Jun 30, '12 10:12pm  
4951
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