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Family Drama Called My Celly Tonight.....

Family Drama Called My Celly Tonight.....

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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:52pm  
@Fallon....I honestly, with all of my being right now, feel that God has just worked thru you......As I sit here, with a lump in my throat, sore eyes from crying, an upset stomach, and a weary soul, I needed to hear exactly what you just said........Tonight, as I saw the embarrassed glaze go over my husband's eyes, his tone as to "What now," and saw how upset he got, something inside of me just literally died....Thank you my beautiful friend for sharing, for being my comfort, for being my friend, and for showing me grace, courage, and love.......You will never know the dept of how much I needed to hear what you wrote...  4951
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Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:11am  
I agree with @fallon, it doesn't matter who it is, I'm done with drama.  I may cry when I know I will never again have contact with a person I care about, but the drama is a no go.  The tears will pass, life will be less chaotic.  New people more worthy of your goodness will grace your door step.   Those are things to celebrate. 4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:13am  
@mpjp0907...Awwww, sweet dude...  Many thanks for being here for me, my beautiful friend.........I actually hesitated about even droppin' dime about the family drama, but I honestly needed to just let it out, and see if my wonderful friends could give me a avenue of peace... ....And of course, you did not let me down....  ....And my amazing home-chica, @Fallon , literally left me speechless with her comments.......It was just raw honesty....  That I so needed to hear......I am SO blessed to have you both as my friends...  Thank you..... 4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:22am  
@Francita....I feel, and appreciate, everything you're saying, my friend...  I really do......But when it's your own mother, and your last living parent at that, it's just quite gut wrenching to say the least......I know that I deserve, and especially my husband deserves, a happy, joyous, peaceful, healthy life.......I've just got to come to terms that means letting go, and meaning it........Not just closing this chapter to return to re-read it again, but closing this novel for good, storing it on a very high shelf, and then going out into the sun light.... 4951
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mpjp0907 Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:25am  
@mpjp0907...Awwww, sweet dude...  Many thanks for being here for me, my beautiful friend.........I actually hesitated about even droppin' dime about the family drama, but I honestly needed to just let it out, and see if my wonderful friends could give me a avenue of peace... ....And of course, you did not let me down....  ....And my amazing home-chica, @fallon , literally left me speechless with her comments.......It was just raw honesty....  That I so needed to hear......I am SO blessed to have you both as my friends...  Thank you.....
 
@herron1345:
 
I can vouch for @fallon. She is so brutally honest with anything you ask her. That is one quality in a person I always seek only because I can be the same way without even thinking twice (which can be bad and good sometimes lol) we really need to do lunch sometime. 4951
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Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:37am  
@herron1345its a tough call when its your mom.  Thats your mom!  This happened in my family.  My aunt, my mom's sister, hasn't talked to my grandmother for 15 years, due to drama , lies, etc.  My aunt doesn't even want my grandmother to know where she lives.  My mom was caught in the middle of this.  My grandmother is 96 now, can't hardly remember anyone, will probably die soon, and my Aunt still won't have anything to do with her.  Its sad, but no one blames her.  My grandmother lives in Albuquerque, she is the reason my parents moved to Texas in 1982,  to get away from her, but my Mom has maintained a low level relationship with her.  I've only seen my grandmother probably 5 times in the last 30 years.  She is a bitter woman, now broken and old.  Its very sad indeed.   My parents moved because she was meddling in their relationship, calling my mom telling her one thing, calling my dad and telling him another, pitting them against each other.  They nearly divorced, but as of last week they celebrated their 53 wedding anniversary.   You do what you have to do to protect whats important to you.  Period.  Only you can make that call. 4951
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bp2018 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:49am  
In my humble opinion, blood is a sorry excuse to call someone family. Family are the people who enlighten your life and except you for who you are. The people who come running to you when things are going wrong in your life instead of running away. The ones who would give anything just to see you happy and smiling, and whose heart breaks when yours does. Just because you share DNA with someone doesn't make them family, any more than you're related to the apes at the zoo. If someone can't be a positive influence in your life, you don't need them. It may be a snotty and selfish thing to say, but I've always believed if you aren't lifting me up, you're just bringing me down. I don't have time for unnecessary drama and manipulation. Life is busy and hard enough without the added stress. I have unfortunately cut a lot of people out of my life because all they saw me as was a pawn in some sick and twisted game they wanted to play. Ever since I let them go, I've been much happier, and I refuse to let that kind of negativity back in my life.
 
I apologize if this makes no sense. It's kind of a bunch of thoughts all jumbled in together. It's been a long day...just remember that you can only do so much for people before you have to kick them out of the nest, so to speak, and let them fend for themselves.
 
Loading Image... 4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 12:50am  
Removed By Request 4951
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Jpgurl Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 4:56am  
@donnatellaI wish it were just as simply as the holidays, sweet chica....  I honestly do.......But when it's your own mother, who in her aging mind comes up with untrue, imaginable scenarios, and then calls her family to manipulate this made-up drama and BS, and it's just really hard on knowing the right thing to do.......It's very embarrassing to me, angering, and saddening, all at the same time....  ....And unfortunately, this isn't the first, second, or even the third time that she's lied and caused complete commotion, but I'm wholeheartedly thinking of just being done after tonight's events.......This is my own mother, whom I am seriously searching my heart about, thinking that I deserve a happy, healthy, and wholesome life...  And she just doesn't fit in with that criteria.......I mean, how much more do I honesty take........When do I say enough is enough, I'm done, and put my husband, myself, and our family first...  ....Her actions are unhealthy and detrimental....  I just don't know what to do.... ...I  just had a cousin that I haven't seen since I was like in the fifth grade call me up, and threaten to come down from North Carolina and whip my as$........I couldn't even get a word in over her cussing, threatening, and yelling complete nonsense at me.......Heck, I didn't even know who was actually calling me up in the first place......And then when I tried to call her back, after getting hung up on, I got the exact same thing...  ....And how convenient that after all of this got started, my mom turns her phone off...
 
@herron1345: ((((HUGS)))). My Mother in law was mentally ill - no meds- and she managed to split the family like a nuclear reactor splits atoms. It got so I hated Thanksgiving and Christmas and started to dread them starting in Halloween. Dh and I went through marriage counseling.
The best thing I learned is you HAvE to do what's best for YOU and your family- you do NOT want this dysfunction to mess with your family!!!
Unfortunately for me- history is repeating itself - my son who is mentally is and special needs is starting to act like his Grandma. He's pulled some BS and has now blocked my calls and texts. We had to make the difficult decision to not invite him to a Thanksgiving dinner at another familiy's house because I didn't want to drag our family drama there. UGH
I hope you can resolve the problem with your cousin! And as far as your Mom- I pray that you find peace. Our lives got much better when dh cut her off- it hurt but it was better for our family
 
4951
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topcat Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 5:07am  
@Herron1345 I'm so sorry you have to ride an emotional roller coaster with your family like this. Remember, you can still be the good person that you are and forgive them in your heart without having to put yourself in the middle of the crazy. Step back, take a break from it all (maybe forever, maybe not), and enjoy the holidays with your hubby and friends. You are such a positive, loving gal! Don't let them rob you of that, not even for a minute!
 
 
Loading Image... 4951
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mm4731 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 6:30am  
[ Removed By Request. ] 4951
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silly123 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 7:42am  
Removed By Request 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 7:45am  
I envy you guys that can say enough is enough. I just cant do it. I want peace, even if it is at my expense, so badly that I will just keep everything to myself and just pretend like its all ok. People have hurt me but I never told them so they think I am not bothered by anything and it teaches them to continue to treat me badly or the same way. Do what you have to do herron and do it to where you feel at peace with it. Or just call @mm4731 to knock the ***** around. That works too. 4951
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alecktra Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 9:06am  
So many words of wisdom on this thread that so many need to hear!  *((GROUP HUG))* 4951
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Elle10 Active Indicator LED Icon 1
~ 9 years ago   Nov 25, '14 10:27am  
@donnatella....Thank you for sharing that, my friend......But we've tried that, dude......We distance ourselves for a period of time from her, then she comes crying back, turning her lies around to make it seem as though she's somehow the victim, and of course she plays the "you're all the family that I have" sympathy card, in which we forgive, and move on.......But, unfortunately, she repeats the same cycle....  ....And like I mentioned previously, this isn't the first, second, or third go at this......But I'm seriously thinking that it's MY last.... 
 
@herron1345: I'm so sorry. This sounds like an in-law...but this in-law has a pill addiction. If there is something more going on, I hope for everyone's sake it is discovered and dealt with no matter how difficult that process may be.
4951
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