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Co-Parenting. (Rant)

Co-Parenting. (Rant)

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by: anntx Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:42pm  
Is NOT fun.  I made the STUPID decision to AGREE to my sons dad to have him TUESDAYS/WEDNESDAYS and 1,3,5th weekend. I only see my son 50% of the time, and as my first child... it's HARD! I work 2 jobs just to support us because his "wonderful" father doesn't pay child support.  Anyone else have to go through this??? How do you deal with it?  I need a sugardaddy. LOL, JUST kidding.  I hold my own, but it is tough. And frustrating and I am so blessed my sons dad wants to be in his life and it does help me so I can work my 2nd job but I feel like I am missing out big time on my sons life.Ok. Rant over.  Please tell me I'm not the only one going through this?  4951
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ctl74 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:46pm  
I can't even imagine what you have to go through. Parenting is TOUGH. Can I ask why he doesn't have to pay, though? I would be LIVID if I was busting hump to work two jobs and care for OUR child... Feel free to tell me to mind my own business, though - I don't know anyone who has been in this situation. 4951
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anntx Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:48pm  
Oh no, it's fine.  Apparently, In Texas- it's only an issue if they go 6+ months without paying. Mine pays every 4-5 or so months, so he "out-smarts" the system in a way. I got $300 in Sept. He only has to pay $334 a month, I know some guys who pay $900+ a month and they actually pay. So why he doesn't I don't know.... I blame myself for agreeing to him having him so often, even after the judge said it was a bad idea... I was trying to do the right thing, and just screwed myself. @ctl74 4951
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TexasBarbieDoll Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:51pm  
i hate that you have to go through that horse crap Emoticon i dont think its going to change unless you go to court girl... 4951
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anntx Active Indicator LED Icon  OP  New Member
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:52pm  
I would be there in a heartbeat if I could afford a lawyer, hence the having to have 2 jobs. Emoticon  Thanks Barbie.  4951
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TexasBarbieDoll Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:59pm  
Yeah your ex has it kind of good.....My hubs has to pay over 1200 every month.  4951
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ctl74 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 3:33pm  
Oh wow - ugh. I would be like you - trying to be nice about it. But, in the end, you have to look out for YOU and your son. I wish there was more pro bono type work available for parents like yourself. What a jagoff. $334 / mo is not even 1/3 of the cost of monthly daycare, let alone food, clothing, etc. I'm so, so sorry you got "screwed", for lack of a better word. 4951
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fcabanski Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 3:56pm  
Why do you have to go through it?  Go to the family court.  The father must pay child support.It's good that your son can see both parents. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 4:01pm  
Yes, there are some fathers who don't pay and all but there are some amazing men who totally get screwed on this issue.
 
I hope it all works out for you. 4951
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KTownTexican Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 4:43pm  
contact the state of Texas to get his check deducted to pay you... my siggy has this done from her ex-because he refused to pay the "amount" he felt he should pay less,,, retard..as for the visitation,, you really screwed that one,,, because he has him 50% he pays less child support.You are going to have to go back to court to get it all straightened out. Due to the fact he does not pay, its your advantage, that will have him lose visitation and get that re arranged.Good luck,,,   4951
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TexasBarbieDoll Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 4:46pm  
Yes, there are some fathers who don't pay and all but there are some amazing men who totally get screwed on this issue.
 
I hope it all works out for you.
 
@TheTruthHurts: yeah like my hubs, he got completely SCREWED. Honestly , he should have custody...the mother is ughh NOT MOTHERLY AT ALL....still stuck in her party phase. Its sad and pathetic. BUT since she is a women she gets what she wants. 
4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 4:57pm  

- - - - - - - -
>> Yes, there are some fathers who don't pay and all but there are some amazing men who totally get screwed on this issue.
 
I hope it all works out for you.
 
@TheTruthHurts: yeah like my hubs, he got completely SCREWED. Honestly , he should have custody...the mother is ughh NOT MOTHERLY AT ALL....still stuck in her party phase. Its sad and pathetic. BUT since she is a women she gets what she wants. 
 
@TexasBarbieDoll:
 
The courts have not caught up with reality. Not all the best parents are women. Women bear the children and bc of that I think they get an advantage but really every situation should be looked at in its entirety. 4951
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jax Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 5:41pm  
Sucks but I don't think the guy should pay at all. If both of you have the child 50% of the time, no child support should be awarded.
 
4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 5:44pm  
So years ago (youngest from 1st marriage is now 24) I was sort of in the shoes of OP's ex.  I know that divorce rules are different all over and ours happened in Michigan but let me play a little devil's advocate.We were married for 9 years and had two sons.  They were 8 and 6 when the papers were final.  We had joint legal custody...meaning she was legally obligated to include me in all important decisions regarding them...and she had physical custody as awarded by the state.  Although she had physical custody, visitation terms were set up so that they stayed with me for 3 days, her for 4, then me for 4, her for 3, etc.  We had a relatively amicable relationship so we didn't stick to that strictly if one of the other had conflicts.  Both of us were taking night classes (hers paid by a program in Michigan for poor folks trying to improve and mine by my GI Bill), both had crappy "pay-the-bills" jobs that barely got us from month to month.The entire time until my youngest turned 18 I was court ordered to pay child support.  Think about that for a minute.  I had my sons 50% of the time.  I had to buy the same amount of groceries as her.  Same electric, gas, water consumption.  We split costs on new clothes and school expenses.  Absolutely everything was the same...except that she was given roughly 25% of my net pay.  Even after both remarried, moved up the ladder in the wealth department, and started new families...I had to pay while sharing an equal parenting financial and emotional burden.Tell me the system is fair. 4951
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jax Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 5:49pm  
I feel your pain. The system is 100% screwed up, but that's how it goes.
 
It's funny, isn't it? You don't see dads *****ing about not getting child support from their ex-wife if they had custody of the kids. Hmmmm!!!
 
4951
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Okiedokie Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 6:28pm  
I get 130.00 a
month. My ex decided he did not want to be a father when my dd got
sick.  She is almost 8 and has not seen her real dad since she was 3. 
He does not pay the insurance he is mandated to pay.  He does not pay
any medical at all.  She hasn't received a card from him in years.  His
phone call on Christmas was his annual call. I can guarantee you, it takes a hell of a lot more than 130.00 to raise a child.  It's not just about the money though-my DH and I would let him see her anytime he wanted if he ever came back.  She used to idolize him and I have never spoken a bad word about him in front of her.  I just am not holding my breath.  4951
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