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Marriage Isn't For You

Marriage Isn't For You

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by: FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 8:39am  
. 4951
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jax Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 8:43am  
Which is exactly why I will never get married. I don't want to ruin their life.
 
And it would! !!
4951
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ctl74 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 8:50am  
Eh I don't agree with "you marry to make the other person happy" - marriage is a two-way street. And, in order to make the other person happy, you have to begin with being happy with yourself. I also think this guy cheated, and got caught, and felt remorse. Hence this article.  4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 9:04am  
Eh I don't agree with "you marry to make the other person happy" - marriage is a two-way street. And, in order to make the other person happy, you have to begin with being happy with yourself. I also think this guy cheated, and got caught, and felt remorse. Hence this article. 
 
@ctl74:
 
I think you missed the point. BOTH people should feel this Way to make it work-not just one.
 
I think the biggest part of marriage that's defeating is that it has evolved to be a trap for many. Lots of emotional ramifications to that psychologically. The best way to resolve most anything is a knowledge the other person is a single entity and unique, you can never own them. The only way it works is having total freedom to stay-or go.
 
Dr. Phil said something once and it's completely true. Before you get too tied up in love, TRAIN yourself to realize all things in marriage should be negotiable. Communicate and negotiate before you get to the point you don't want to any more.
 
I think we need legalized commitment of love, for people who like the idea of unions but that give way more flexibility to exit. After all, what good is any of it if you have to be forced? Defeats the entire purpose of being with someone bc you want to. 4951
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jax Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 9:19am  
See, I find the article a rather arrogant one. To me it sounds like this:
 
I'm so awesome that when I marry someone, I will make them happy. Yep...that's how awesome I am.
 
That's why when you ask someone why they're getting married, they always say "To make them happy." Yeah...NO!!!
 
A lot of people get married because they believe it's a fairy tale, which it is. Only to find out 4-5 years later than it isn't. They have been programmed since young ages that marriage is natural, sacred and will last forever. Sad for them that reality will eventually slap them across the face before too long.
 
4951
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Jpgurl Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 9:42am  
His Dad is a wise man- I hope the son listens. It's also give and take- like a team of horses or dog sled. Sometimes hubby carries all the burden and sometimes I do- but it takes a team to get the work done.  We gladly carry the burden for the other because we love each other. Once  we each got over the self centeredness as worked together instead of 2 separate people our marriage worked. Wish someone had told me all that before I got married- would've saved a lot of tears and grief the first few years. Going on 34 years here 4951
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KTownTexican Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 1:00pm  
I was going to get married again,, but more I realize,, I don't want to get stuck, again. I am ready to leave now. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 1:09pm  
"marriage Isn't For You"
 

Actually, it isn't for most people.
4951
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Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 1:59pm  
 I also think this guy cheated, and got caught, and felt remorse. Hence this article. 
 
@ctl74:   That's quite a leap there.  Emoticon
4951
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ctl74 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:36pm  

- - - - - - - -
>>  I also think this guy cheated, and got caught, and felt remorse. Hence this article. 
 
@ctl74:   That's quite a leap there.  Emoticon
 
@Retired_Engineer: Not really - he skims the surface by saying he was selfish, caused pain and anguish...and that his wife was selfless about it. So, this is the conclusion I came up with! I think it's a fair one...
4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 2:43pm  
I was going to get married again,, but more I realize,, I don't want to get stuck, again. I am ready to leave now.
 
@KTownTexican:
 
I don't think that's necessary either. If you find the right person, you will want to get married, nothing wrong with that. Just Lay it all out on the line before, everything right down to the "if you don't want me anymore this is how we will end it". 4951
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fcabanski Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Jan 2, '14 4:04pm  
Marriage is a two way street.  But it's not about being happy all the time.  Life isn't about being happy all the time.  Marriages go through phases.  Too many people today give up during the down turns.  That's why there are so many divorces.Marriages go through phases, like each person going their own way.  They don't look at each other with goo goo eyes during that phase.  But each one does their part to maintain the home and family.  When that phase passes, the next phase may be hand holding and smooching in the back seat of the car, just like when they were dating.Marriage isn't an endless date. 4951
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