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by: TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 3:42pm  
5 Signs of Sexual Addiction
Sex is a healthy part of life — but for some people, it can become all-consuming. Could you be addicted to sex?
 
By Wyatt Myers
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
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Get the latest health facts, tips, and advice. @EverydayHealth
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Usually, the difference between enjoying sex and being addicted to sex is apparent. “A healthy sexual appetite can be controlled. If sex is unavailable, it is disappointing but not devastating,” says Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist and author of The Real Thirteenth Step: Discovering Confidence, Self-Reliance and Independence Beyond the Twelve Step Programs. “With a sexual addiction, the addict feels desperate to have his or her sexual outlet, no matter the cost.”
 
How to Spot Sexual Addiction
 
A sexual addiction can manifest itself in many ways, so you will need to look for a variety of possible warning signs that you or your spouse or partner is a sex addict. Kathryn A. Cunningham, PhD, director of the Center for Addiction Research at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, identifies the following possibilities:
 
Sex dominates an individual’s life to the exclusion of other activities.
The individual engages in phone sex, computer sex, use of prostitutes, pornography, or exhibitionism.
The person habitually masturbates.
The individual has multiple sexual partners or cheats on partners.
In extreme cases, the person engages in criminal activities, including stalking, rape, incest, or child molestation.
 
The challenging thing about a sexual addiction is that some “obsession” with sex is healthy. We should have a libido that makes us desire sex. But it goes too far when the person cares more about the act itself than the other person involved, says Kathleen Nickerson, PhD, the founder of FeelBetterNetwork.com.
 
“A sexual addiction most often manifests in one of two ways: substituting sex for love and pursuing different, varied, or extreme sexual activities that are focused on the sex acts, not on any type of connection between two people,” Nickerson says.
 
Though the term “sexual addiction” is commonly used to describe the person’s condition, Nickerson says it’s often a sign of a deeper mental struggle. “Sexual addiction is a fine descriptor, but it is likely incomplete,” she says. “Typically, we’d need to say more about what is going on with a person that is making them seek out the excessive sexual behavior.”
 
When Is Sexual Addiction Counseling Necessary?
 
If you or you partner or spouse is a sex addict, he or she will need sexual addiction counseling. Nickerson says this is one clear-cut situation in which the assistance of a therapist, support groups, and self-help books can be very important. “If you are in a relationship and the other person’s behavior is hurting the relationship, you should discuss this and come up with an action plan for how the two of you will respond and support each other,” she says. “Ultimately, you cannot make anyone else change." 4951
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Ann2800 Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 3:50pm  
Humm  one thread I don't have to be worried about  (: 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 3:52pm  
I shall decline to participate in this threadEmoticon 4951
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Love2Run Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 3:59pm  
Yes, interesting thread but what can you say?  But honestly, I have a good friend (husband of a good friend) whose first wife had this 'affliction'.  I believe that's what attracted him initially but she lost control after they got married and went crazy having multiple affairs and one night stands.  He was miserable and she couldn't stop.  She confessed to him that she was sick but wouldn't go for help.  I always wondered what happened to her. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 7:35pm  
Yes, interesting thread but what can you say?  But honestly, I have a good friend (husband of a good friend) whose first wife had this 'affliction'.  I believe that's what attracted him initially but she lost control after they got married and went crazy having multiple affairs and one night stands.  He was miserable and she couldn't stop.  She confessed to him that she was sick but wouldn't go for help.  I always wondered what happened to her.
 
@Love2Run:
 
Sorry to hear that, it's sad.
 
Nowadays this condition is easy to hide due to the computer and internet -and non stop access to sex, porn and chat rooms 24/7. It's fake sex and it's not really fulfilling and I think it drives the need for more and more with no real satisfaction.
 
When it becomes about the act -and not about people, that's an interesting way to define the problem. 4951
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mm4731 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 8:18pm  
[ Removed By Request. ] 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 8:24pm  
I started to read this but decided to watch porn instead
 
@mm4731:
I was too busy with all the neighborhood men AND women.
4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 26, '13 9:00pm  
I started to read this but decided to watch porn instead
 
@mm4731:
 
All things in moderation, right???? Oh yeah, that's the problem..... 4951
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KTownTexican Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 10 years ago   Dec 28, '13 7:51am  
I was very addicted once,,, and its tough to break, you are constantly looking to get it all the time,, you get frustrated when you are told no,, and it can ruin your relationships. You have to learn to control it... If not you go outside and look for another person, who is willing, which can be risky. I am still want it, but I can control the need and desire to be easier on life and family.I dated a girl in college who was addicted. She would come over for a morning run and then again at night,, it was fun but when it was over, she would just leave.What was bad was she would only be addicted when her mood was right, and then would go through spells of not wanting any,, you would never know, one minute lets go and a second later,, not in the mood. You could be in class and get a call, to come over and when you got there, she would change her mind. I think she was bi-polar... years later she moved, and was with some guy, who basically got her pregnant, to keep her from going anywhere other than him. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 28, '13 8:35am  
It's like any other thing that has gotten out of balance in your life....drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, gambling. Things that are natural and normal and healthy, like sex and food are the hardest.
 
It's very easy to keep wanting something that you should have anyway that trips the dopamine trigger and you can access it 24/7. Very easy to get lost when the only controls are the ones you chose -and dont chose-also no checks and balances to graphic porn and imagery. At some point there's no reason to say no to yourself.
 
It's about honesty and coming to the point where you realize you went over the line and you can't let go. Where the mind goes, the man follows.ETA: everyone needs love and support to work their way thru something like this. It's no different than other issues that need attention. Only this one is a greater challenge than most. It's intermingled with many other personal and relational issues, self esteem, love, sex and perceptions of the opposite sex.Be honest and let someone help you. You are no less of a human being. But the guilt and shame is an issue that runs deep. 4951
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