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Question for the ladies...

Question for the ladies...

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by: KTownTexican Active Indicator LED Icon 11 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 14, '13 6:01pm  
So as you know men and women fight over not spending time alone,, with kids its hard,, we are always on the go, go, go... lately its been fussy,, every night. And she says we never spend time alone.So I tell my lady,, to see if the boys can look into to staying the night with some friends tonight, so we can spend some quality time together. She asks "why?" and when I tell her to spend time alone,, she asks, again... "WHY?" Lady's can you help me figure out, that when I want to show I want to spend time alone,, she questions it when it comes to having her kids stay at a friends? She is always complaining we don't spend time alone.What am I doing wrong? 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Dec 14, '13 6:06pm  
Had you **** her off before suggesting that?? Because that would explain her "why the **** would I want to be alone with you and you are safer with witnesses around" response. 4951
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KTownTexican Active Indicator LED Icon 11 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 14, '13 6:07pm  
Had you **** her off before suggesting that?? Because that would explain her "why the **** would I want to be alone with you and you are safer with witnesses around" response.
 
@BooBear:
everyday,, but I am trying to do something for her,,, she is always mad about something 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Dec 14, '13 6:09pm  
It sounds like two totally different conversations going on.
 
But I think you're doing the right thing. If you don't get/have alone time when you want it, it will degrade to not wanting it. 4951
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Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 10 years ago   Dec 14, '13 7:17pm  
@KTownTexican:   All I can say is "Good Luck." 
4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 10 years ago   Dec 14, '13 8:48pm  
 @KTownTexicanNever let yesterday
use up too much of today.-- Will Rogers
4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 10:57am  
when I tell her to spend time alone,, she asks, again... "WHY?"
 
@KTownTexican: Welcome to my personal hell.  We even have our own personal webspace at www.reddit.com/r/deadbedrooms  ;-)My vows said something about sickness, health, richer, poorer, better, and worse.  Forced near-celibacy was never mentioned.I could write you a dissertation on this subject but I'll stop now and just wish you good luck.  4951
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calliecat Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 11:00am  
Keep trying!  How about surprising her with a night away and having the kids arrange for themselves if old enough, to stay at a friends house.   Even if it is downtown.  Make it fun! 4951
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Sniper12 Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 11:35am  
I feel ya on this one... First take the lead on this one by DOING and not asking your wife. You take the lead to find a sitter or a place for the kids to stay and YOU find the time and remove the brick wall that's keeping you two from spending some US time.Surprise her the first time and go out for dinner and drinks and dancing... Do what ever you feel that brought you two together, to get that loving feeling back. Once you have completed this first. You again take the lead and she will follow and you will never hear her say why again. Now go and get it done!!! 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 1:54pm  

- - - - - - - -
>> when I tell her to spend time alone,, she asks, again... "WHY?"
 
@KTownTexican: Welcome to my personal hell.  We even have our own personal webspace at www.reddit.com/r/deadbedrooms  ;-)My vows said something about sickness, health, richer, poorer, better, and worse.  Forced near-celibacy was never mentioned.I could write you a dissertation on this subject but I'll stop now and just wish you good luck. 
 
@shodan66:
 
Which one are ya? Lol j/k. I read a bunch of stuff on there.
It makes me think the world is a dam mess and that the normal people are in the minority. So much weirdness. People who will do anything. People who won't do anything. People who have obviously become obsessed with all things sexual and now their screwed up. Pun intended.
 
And the wrong people end up together the vast majority of the time.. 4951
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pharlap Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 3:31pm  
I agree with whoever said take control and just do it.  Don't ask - unless she is just a girlfriend, and does not live with you, and you are not helping raise the kids.....Surprise her!!  Having alone time is vital to a relationship....and if you never have any alone time, apathy starts to set it I do believe..... 4951
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Katiemcg Active Indicator LED Icon 4
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 5:44pm  
I agree also about just set something up yourself and basically force her into it Emoticon 4951
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KTownTexican Active Indicator LED Icon 11 OP 
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 5:46pm  
I give up,,, she never wants to do anything alone anymore.... next time she asks,, I will tell her I offered, and she said nothing,, so Im saying nothing. 4951
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Copernicus Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 5:52pm  
uh oh 4951
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BowtieGuy Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 6:05pm  
Sounds the the fire is gone....if she's not craving (muchless wanting) quality or alone time, there is really not much you can do to change that....good luck to you tho 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 10 years ago   Dec 15, '13 6:41pm  
I think you should just have your say, spill your guts, respectfully, but spill them nonetheless. It's called communication and it's necessary even if she doesn't want to hear it, you have a right to say it.
 
In all honesty, the no alone time is a huge issue and symptomatic of other issues. It's almost dysfunctional when someone won't talk, can't talk about it and ignores it. That's actually TWO big issues instead of the core problem.
 
I salute you. At least you care. But put up some defenses so you don't get crapped on. People should only be allowed to hurt you so much.
 
If someone sends you messages they don't care, or feel the same and they won't talk or be honest, it's not a good sign. Just sayin' 4951
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