Sounds like mom did a good job at brain washing the daughter. Unfortunately, this is hard to undo. I think in time, and with age and wisdom she may realize what mom has done, but maybe not. Email is a good idea, but maybe wait a couple of weeks (not too long) till daughter has a little time to cool off. I agree with previous comments about dad letting his girl know that he wants to be in her life and help her if/when she needs it. Mom should've planned better knowing that CS ends when the child graduates high school and had her finances in order. What is she doing out of state anyway? Most divorce decrees say that when you have a child, you have to live in adjoining counties, or so I thought. Maybe they moved when daughter turned 18? If not, which ever party violated that and moved, sent a clear message to the daughter that she wasn't the most important person in their life. If I were the daughter, I'd be more upset about distance than money. You can never repay lost time. Just some thoughts.
@topcat: It is true, mom started the brainwashing the moment they got into the u-haul truck and moved his daughter 900 miles away. They had a loveless unhappy marriage for years. So once he asked for divorce, she quit her good paying job and left on this journey with his daughter without a job waiting for her. In their divorce state child support continued until 21 until they recently changed the law to 19. All he did was file for emancipation. He overpaid $1600 in support and the judge did order her to repay which he ordered within 60 days but my hubby did say she could make payments instead so it wouldn't be a hardship to come up with the lump sum. But we know we will never see that money again. That's ok. What is important is that my husband is a truly wonderful dad. He is a great dad to my children and is liked by all that know him. He never said one harsh word against the mother to his daughter in all these years. But this woman has made our life hell. She regulated when she was allowed to speak to him on the phone (with her in the room) and wouldn't allow her to visit us for years because he remarried and she didn't want her daughter around me...which by the way, she has never met or spoke to me! I tried early on to have a relationship with his daughter, emailing, sending her little gifts, etc. But I was told I wasn't allowed to email her since mom wouldn't allow it. His daughter is a junior in college. You would think she would be mature enough to tell her mother, look, this is my dad and you are my mom....I want to love and spend time with both of you without interference from the other. Simple as that. But no, she has cut this wonderful father out of her life and wants nothing to do with him. My heart breaks for him. He has been the most wonderful step dad to my children, and he is a wonderful man. Maybe in time his daughter will come around, but I doubt it for many years if even that, since mom has her so brainwashed. So sad, I would hate to see anyone go through this. My hubby did nothing more than ask the court to stop child support on a 21 year old junior in college. Seems to me mom needs some serious mental help. I hope his daughter doesn't turn into the bitter, sour unhappy woman that her mother is.
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