*Note my mom was NOT a strict mother, she was a whatever goes kind of mom.
I AM NOT THAT WAY! I am strict. I have rules. They are followed. I love the relationship that my daughter and I have! She knows that she can talk to me about anything. My daughter and my mother for sure are my best friends!
I think early on you have to have the rules in place and let your children know you mean what you say. This just sets a good example for any child, male or female. My dh and I are pretty strict compared to some of our friends. But my kids are well behaved and excellent manners. They also know they can come to us for anything, anytime.
I think we will as they get older, esp once they get to college, be best friends. I know both my boys love to spend time with us, and we do some cool things together.
But they still know when I tell them to do something or not to do something that I mean it. They know they have consequences, and if they make a poor choice, they have to face the music.
But if you don't do this when they are younger and if you don't follow through and aren't consistent, you will not want to be friends with how they will turn out anyway
I always remember being the one to be the mother in my relationship with my mom, she had huge issues. But when I was older we still had fun and a good bond b/c I accepted her for what she was and tried to make the best of it instead of cutting her out of my life like everyone else did. She was too much to handle at times. When she died I kept thanking God I did accept her or else she would have died alone. My relationship with my own dd is not like that of me and my mother. I wanted to give her someone worthy to lean on b/c I didn't have that. And so I did. We are both mother and daughter and good friends. A gift from God. That's not to say she's perfect, or me, we aren't very much alike but we totally get each other. And we laugh a lot!
the role as a parent is constantly changing according to what the kid needs. when they are young they dont need another friend, they need someone stable that will give them true information. my oldest is a mother now, she doesnt need me to tell her to clean her room or when to do her school work. my 16 yo still needs me to do some of those things. i love that my kids are older. i love having deeper conversations with them.
to answer, yes mothers and daughters can be best friends when both are old enough and mature enough to understand what that means.
My adult daughter and I are best friends but when we were raising her -NO- I was her Mother and my Dh was her Father and we were not interested in being her BFF . There does come a point when the children are adults and need to be treated as such. I see so many adult children being treated like kids- shame having an adult relationship with your child is a blast!! I remember the day my dd was ready to be launched. She had some problem and she said Mom I want to tell you something - I don't want a lecture and I don't want you to fix it I just want to share it with you. I was like Whoa- uncharted territory here. So I held my tongue- listened to the problem and said- - What do you think you should do? We've never looked back and I've not interfered in her life- I've only given advice when asked for it.