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Need parenting advice

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by: Kristinatx9 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP 
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 11:25am  
My son is 4yo and is a typical active, rough and on the go kid. He goes to pre-school M-F and the teachers love him and say how good he is and I look at them like their talking about the wrong kid. lol I know he does great at school but at home its so different. He does not play with his toys, he just walks around the house terrorizing the dog, pissing off his sister, getting into things in the house and occasionally will get distracted by the tv and watch it for 10mins and than go on to being back up my butt. When spend time with the kids playing games, hide and seek, playing outside different things to spend time with them but I can't entertain him 24/7. He has a room full of toys and never plays with them, how do I get him to play?Things i have already tried is removing a lot of toys and for two reasons one I thought he had to many and it was to over whelming and two because I tried teaching him the lesson of if you don't want them someone else does. We have tried putting his toys in the living room area thinking he just wanted to be around us but that didn't work either. EmoticonWhen our daughter was he age she played so well by her self I could cook dinner, sit down for two seconds and with him we never get a break.Any advice and opinions I'll take it all.  4951
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CupcakeMama Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 11:51am  
My oldest was like that. In preschool or daycare they change what they do like every 15 minutes so they get used to someone keeping them entertained constantly. The only thing that worked for me is to be very prepared. I would give her a sheet of stickers and a piece of paper and that would take about 15 MIN. She would come back and I'd give her crayons and tell her to draw a picture of something outside. Done? Now draw a picture of something inside. Have lots of simple ideas ready to go. You may not get a solid hour but 15 MIN at a time is better than nothing. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 1:22pm  
While staying busy is good for kids, it almost sounds like yours needs to learn how to be comfortable being quiet and relaxed...lol. Sounds like he's busy but just busy doing the wrong types of things, especially if they say he's so good in school. If that is the case, focus on what talents he might have or what interests him..and concentrate activities in that direction. Nothing quite like letting them explore that which truly interests them. You might have to sit down with him and kick start things but he'll get into it if he's drawn to something. Tinker types of toys are great like Leggos. 4951
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TexINS Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 1:36pm  
@Kristinatx9
We have 2 boys, several years older than yours, so here is my advice. Please forgive my assumptions.
 
First, it sounds like your son needs to get outside and do some excercise. He is 4, past the toddler stage and his body/muscles need to do something. We would spend hours at the playground. the boys would love to climb, go down slides, try the monkey bars and all those good things. As any parent of boys will tell you is that if you put a ball in front of a boy 99% will drop whatever they are doing and play with that ball. So if you get bored of the playground go play catch with him outside. My boys loved those cheapo giant rubber balls you see at walmart. Play cath with him, let him kick it etc. Other excercise ideas: swimming, bike, walk through the woods. Try a rec soccer league like Alliance. A good hour or two of excercie will burn off all that energy that is in his muscles then he will be ready to play legos, cars etc.
 
Second, limit all sugar. We never gave our boys soda and we limited their candy intake (heck, Halloween candy would last a year. They would only get sugars from fruits, juices and the occasional posicle.
 
TV: Limited.
Video Games: Just those leapfrog games.
 
Not to insult your intelligence, but not two kids are alike and boys are different than girls. Lastly, boys are like puppies, they just need their excercise.
 
Good luck 4951
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Kristinatx9 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP 
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 2:43pm  
@Kristinatx9
We have 2 boys, several years older than yours, so here is my advice. Please forgive my assumptions.
 
First, it sounds like your son needs to get outside and do some excercise. He is 4, past the toddler stage and his body/muscles need to do something. We would spend hours at the playground. the boys would love to climb, go down slides, try the monkey bars and all those good things. As any parent of boys will tell you is that if you put a ball in front of a boy 99% will drop whatever they are doing and play with that ball. So if you get bored of the playground go play catch with him outside. My boys loved those cheapo giant rubber balls you see at walmart. Play cath with him, let him kick it etc. Other excercise ideas: swimming, bike, walk through the woods. Try a rec soccer league like Alliance. A good hour or two of excercie will burn off all that energy that is in his muscles then he will be ready to play legos, cars etc.
 
Second, limit all sugar. We never gave our boys soda and we limited their candy intake (heck, Halloween candy would last a year. They would only get sugars from fruits, juices and the occasional posicle.
 
TV: Limited.
Video Games: Just those leapfrog games.
 
Not to insult your intelligence, but not two kids are alike and boys are different than girls. Lastly, boys are like puppies, they just need their excercise.
 
Good luck
 
@TexINS: I totally get what your saying and we do all those things I'm talking about the times after all the family fun has been done or maybe the quite time on a Saturday morning. Instead of playing with something he just wonders around the house. When I'm cooking dinner, cleaning or doing something I have to stop 50 times because he just won't go play in his room or play with his toys in the living room. Maybe he isn't old enough for that yet. 
He doesn't ever get soda except for random times when we eat out (which isn't often with him) and sometimes not even than. No candy in this house, we actually just got done making our own fruit/veggie juice with the juicer. I changed his eating habits years ago because i thought that would help.i just don't understand why he won't play with his toys, I don't want to have children that need to be entertained by me every second of the day. EmoticonThanks for all the advice everyone! 4951
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Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 3:02pm  
My oldest would be happy playing by his self, my youngest was a handful. It sounds like your son isn't interested in toys. He probably will excel at sports. How about some sports things he can play inside like in the hallway. Plastic hockey sticks etc. You may end up painting your hallway every few months...lol. I bet your son has a great sense of adventure and sense of humor. He may be difficult now but I bet as a grown man he will excel in life. 4951
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topcat Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 11 years ago   Jul 21, '12 11:01pm  
Hi! I would love to help you. My twin boys are 16 and I never had the issue you are describing. However, I am going through a very similar experience now with my future stepchildren, who are 4 and 5 year old boys. We are working on them not feeling to be constantly entertained and engaged with us.  I have been a prechool teacher for 6 years, worked in elementary for 3, and now am at a local high school.  Basically, what I have found with some behavior issues, is that the child is given too many choices.  I am going to guess that you are very niceEmoticon  Which in of itself is a good thing.  Speaking politely to your preschooler and using "please" is great in certain situations, like when you are asking him to hand you something or help you take the groceries in.  When it's time to play and let you cook dinner or pay the bills or talk on the phone, it;s then when you need to TELL him that you have things to do and he needs to play in his room, or whatever. Your tone and demeanor has to change at this time. I am not suggesting being mean by any means! But a change in you wording and adopting an "i mean business" tone will serve you well.  Give him two choices, but no more. For example, play with legos or watch spiderman. Set a timer for a short time at first, like 15 minutes, and tell him when it dings he can do something else or have a snack or whatever.  You can increase the time as he gets used to this.  NEVER bargain or argue.  Also, schedule time with him. Tell him that after the dishes are done you will play candyland with him. I know it's a lot of info, and based on assumptions since I don't know you, but I hope it helps. In a nutshell you need: 1. A kitchen timer 2.Clear expectations 3. Authoritative tone 4. Patience and time! Good Luck!!! 4951
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