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Your dog's resume



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if your dog posted a resume (for any job) what would his/her work history, skills, etc. be?

...
FONZIE--4.5 y/o male retriever

Education: Educated on the mean streets of a Kingwood housing development
Work history: Undiscerning food critic, 2009-present
Professional hole digger
Skills: Hole digging skills, Cheerful lookout, take charge (aka wallow in attention) attitude

May 4, 2012 - 03:49 pm
Horsemagic
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Poodle . .. great for in bed snuggling , can put away any food you do not want off your plate . Will take long walks with you at any hour day or night. Great  buddy for long drives in your vehicle. Will keep all varmits & critters out of your yard  . Enjoys watching TV & will guard you & your home 24 / 7 . asking nothing in return but love.

May 4, 2012 - 03:58 pm
WJo
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well versed in sleeping positions.  very vocal.

May 4, 2012 - 04:36 pm
mogopups
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Mine hold the furniture down and also have the ability to see and bark at all the invisible foesthe MUST be everywhere.

May 4, 2012 - 08:11 pm
BooBear
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Woof.

May 4, 2012 - 08:54 pm
fcabanski
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Experience in making squeaky toy noise, playing fetch/keep away, barking at anyone who dares enter the yard, keeping me company while I cook and hoping "clumsy mom" drops something good, very talented in giving "sweet eyes" and tale wagging to get belly rubs. Of course the standard sit, down stay and leave it commands. Also, cat poop hunting and eating skills.

May 4, 2012 - 09:24 pm
N+T
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Objective:
  To win you over with silly antics, bring joy to your life and help with housework.
Experience:
 Regularly empty bathroom trash cans
Squeek toys excessively while people are watching an important program
keep all varment out of yard
Protect from the evil doorbell on the big TV
Living alarm clock that wakes you up with kisses at the same time every morning
Education:
  Homeschooled in sit, shake, get toys and ring bell to go potty outside
 
 

 

May 4, 2012 - 09:26 pm
petstylist
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With five dogs and 5 cats.....I want out, I want in...we expect our feeding schedule to be at tthe same time everynite..I promise to alert you to intruders..and no one who will hurt you No matter how your day is I love you...scoot over in our bed...I'lll keep you warm.....I love you no matter what! 
Other history..Bobbie spent her time at a shelter for 7 years..Gruffy, found us on a culdesac while walking our pups...Misty is part pit but and wasnt workin out with kids in her household..Twink was found on the streets.  Dude came from an HEB parking lot in Summerwood..I could go on all cats are rescue.  They let us know how we should treat them..we luv them and respect their needs. We respect them to behave with discipline to us..Dosent get better than that...Life is Good...Like what you do....Do what you like!


May 4, 2012 - 10:06 pm
Puppeep
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Lets see.  Resume.  Well I was born in Huntsville, and then came to Kingwood.  I was kicked out of several playgroups.  I don't need a group to play, not sure why I was put in these.  Some say, I am a bit active, they use terms like ADHD x 100.  I don't get it.  Is that a ball?  BRB!

Yes it was a ball.  A yellow ball.   Then there was a squirrel.

Oh the Resume.  Yes, as you can see I am a proven multi tasker.  I can help with redecorating.  I also help keep construction cost down.  I just eat sheetrock.  Got a chair you need to recover?   I will, for free, dispose of the old cover in under 10 min. when left to concentrate on my job.

My pay requirements are very small.  A 4 lb roast once in a while will do.   And if you happen to bake 32 mini blueberry muffins and leave them on the island I will eat those as well.   NOT a fan of the lazy susan.  Very hard, even for me to catch my food from these vile contraptions.  

I am a proven, even renowned, motivational work out partner.  You will take me on walks, so I will not get bored.  A bored lab will eat the sheetrock off the walls.
 
And I love to share.  I have no problems with waiting for you to go to sleep before I jump in the bed and share it with you.


May 4, 2012 - 10:25 pm
Fallon
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These all made me LOL
And for my second darling:
...
Puffy, 9 yo chow mix

Education: Schooled on the mean streets of a NW Houston neighborhood
Work history: Squirrel watcher, 2002-2011
                       Guard dog 2002-present
                       Depressionanxiety counselor for humans,, 2002-present
Skills: Guarding, making people feel happy, positive outlook  

May 5, 2012 - 05:52 am
Horsemagic
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Really?

May 5, 2012 - 06:12 am
jax
jax
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I love this thread.

May 5, 2012 - 07:29 am
lola
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my dog doesn't have a resume.....she has a vitae.......

May 5, 2012 - 07:41 am
nycoil
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my dog doesn't have a resume.....she has a vitae.......


@nycoil:

Is it long? Is she a superdog?

May 5, 2012 - 08:02 am
Horsemagic
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6 mo old Sheppie mix looking for a stable home with loving parents. I am a fast learner and look forward to moving up the chain of command to ALPHA leader.
I will bark for treats and other delectables.
I get along well with most others, however there are a few exceptions.
I am a people pleaser and will do anything for attention.
I consider this a mere stepping stone to find my place in a good home with great benefits.
Thank you for your kind consideration.

May 5, 2012 - 09:57 am
wallacepups
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Ella
7 year old golden

I make a better door than a window. Love eating the cat food before my own. Dont mind small children who are curious over my body parts. Love to annoy cats.

May 5, 2012 - 10:47 am
mpjp0907
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