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Am I being unreasonable?



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I asked my husband to take the fall bowling league off to help with the baby on Friday evenings. My husband is only home on the weekends. So, I will be a single mom during the week. I figured by Friday evening I might need a break. Just wandering if I sound selfish or is it a reasonable request?


May 4, 2012 - 12:40 pm
N+T
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With a new baby you will need his help.  

May 4, 2012 - 12:42 pm
hardzep
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I don't think you're being unreasonable.  There's not a lot of help for dad to do with a newborn if you're breastfeeding though.  Even if I pumped for an extra bottle for dh to use in the middle of the night, my boobs would still be killing me and I'd end up pumping while he fed the bottle.  Once they are sleeping through the night it's easier for dad to help with that.

But I'm sure you would appreciate having a long hot shower on a Friday night and having him home would let you accomplish at least that.

May 4, 2012 - 12:45 pm
seriouslyoverbook
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You wont have to ask him when that time comes, men are not like us, They dont get that instinct till the baby is actually here in form. Im serious, they dont get all the fears mushyness, concerns over what needs to be done till they hold that baby, you will see a whole new look come over your hubbies face when he holds his child for the first time. Friday night out bowling will be the last thing on his mind...:-) If its not...kick his butt...LOL

May 4, 2012 - 12:46 pm
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Do you have other children?

May 4, 2012 - 12:47 pm
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You aren't being selfish AT ALL. You will need him there, especially with an infant. The "I can do it all by myself" mentality only lasts until the child comes. You will need help & that is totally normal. Sometimes things like that need to be sacrificed so that you (or he in this case) can be the best parent possible & help your partner (you) be the best parent they can be as well. I agree with Burnsway though, once the baby is here, he'll have a new outlook.


May 4, 2012 - 12:54 pm
Heathur
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Tell him he can go to bowling league but he has to take the baby with him

May 4, 2012 - 12:56 pm
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There is nothing for a man to do for the first 6 - 12 months. In my house the wife takes care of the first 9 years then I take care of the last 9 years.

May 4, 2012 - 12:58 pm
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Tell him he can go to bowling league but he has to take the baby with him


@Longstocking:

LOL!



May 4, 2012 - 12:59 pm
Burnsway
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Tell him he can go to bowling league but he has to take the baby with him


@Longstocking:

ICK!  The baby will come home smelling like stale cigarette smoke, beer ,and those nasty nachos, LOL.

May 4, 2012 - 01:01 pm
seriouslyoverbook
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Tell him he can go to bowling league but he has to take the baby with him


@Longstocking:


I would.  Newborns are like potted plants.  Park them in the carrier and they don't move.   They are also chick magnates.

May 4, 2012 - 01:02 pm
BEVO
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I changed a lot of diapers.  

May 4, 2012 - 01:08 pm
hardzep
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Get a babysitter and go out yourself somewhere on Friday nights.

May 4, 2012 - 01:10 pm
RSMCB
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men are of one mind...what they want & need & that's all that matters . It takes a woman to make these hard headed men see that there are other things in life besides them & their "needs".  That being said ...the 1st 4 months of the babies life is spent sleeping & eating & the husband really has nothing to do but sit & watch this process. It's a better idea if you wait till the baby is about 4 to 5 months old before laying down the law. Of course you can prepare him by telling him his bowling nite is safe till the baby is 4 months old , then he either takes the baby with him or he can stay at home with the baby while you get some well deserved "me time".
Men seem to do alot better when they have an adjustment period  to get use to the idea that they will have a job to do "soon"  & it will entail him having to give something up .....


May 4, 2012 - 01:17 pm
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You are definitely NOT being unreasonable.  By the end of the week, you are going to need a break, even if it's just to catch up on some sleep.  You will be making many sacrifices, he can sacrifice his bowling league for awhile.  It's bad enough that you aren't going to have any help during the week.

May 4, 2012 - 01:18 pm
Littlegoo
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men are of one mind...what they want & need & that's all that matters . It takes a woman to make these hard headed men see that there are other things in life besides them & their "needs".  That being said ...the 1st 4 months of the babies life is spent sleeping & eating & the husband really has nothing to do but sit & watch this process. It's a better idea if you wait till the baby is about 4 to 5 months old before laying down the law. Of course you can prepare him by telling him his bowling nite is safe till the baby is 4 months old , then he either takes the baby with him or he can stay at home with the baby while you get some well deserved "me time".
Men seem to do alot better when they have an adjustment period  to get use to the idea that they will have a job to do "soon"  & it will entail him having to give something up .....



@WJo:   Wow, you're being kind of rough on men.  But you are correct about the 4-5 month period.  It took me about that long to realize that I wasn't going to hurt the baby when I picked it up and took care of it.



May 4, 2012 - 03:08 pm
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