My wife stood nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to me, "I feel Horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a Compliment." I replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect
So I get up this morning, go out into the other room and the wife is up (before the crack of noon no less). I say, Hey girl! You wanna go out? The wife says, "Sure thing, we haven't been out in so long, and gas stations don't count!" I look over at her and say "I'm talking to the dogs."