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fight with spouse



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what is the longest period of time that you have gone without speaking to your spouse when you were fighting?  hubby and i had a bad argument last night and haven't spoken since.

Mar 28, 2012 - 12:37 pm
aggiebutterfly
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i hate going to bed angry, its the worst.   Usually, we stop talking for an hour or two.  Unless one of us leaves the house then it could be all day.  

My instinct is to run away from arguments but my DH hates when i do that, so he usually reminds me we need to work it out.  Sometimes we work it out other times we have agree to disagree.

Lately, my DH is realizing he just needs to agree with me.  Cause when the prego lady is happy everyone is happy and when i am not happy-psycho b**ch comes out.  

Mar 28, 2012 - 12:41 pm
N+T
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that sucks aggie! ken and i have never gone a full day without speaking. usually just 1/2 a day goes by before he calls. it's not always an apology call, but more like a "i just want to make sure we're ok" kind of call. those calls tick me off so bad! me...being a woman, can go DAYS giving the silent treatment. he can't do that. he doesn't like to leave things unfinished. i need that quiet time to get over it and move on. he likes to move on immediately and act like nothing happened. it's probably good that he's like that though, because if i were left alone i'd fester on it forever.

 

your hubby is probably just thinking he needs to give you some space and time to get your thoughts together. maybe send him a text saying that you'd like to talk about things after the kids are asleep tonight. not to fight, but to figure out a solution.

 

then you can have make up sex.
 


Mar 28, 2012 - 12:53 pm
taramay
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I think I have gone for like 3-4 days once...   I was REALLY ticked...   I hate when the fight is never resolved but they just start acting like the fight never happened....  WTH   I hate that !!!!

Mar 28, 2012 - 01:21 pm
GoldenGirl
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So sorry to hear it aggie. Give your guy some time and the next time you talk try not to be too emotional. That's always my big problem. I will say a prayer for you!

Mar 28, 2012 - 01:30 pm
leighanne3579
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Be the bigger person and send him a nice email.  :  )   @angiebutterfly

Mar 28, 2012 - 01:41 pm
hardzep
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hubby and i had a bad argument last night and haven't spoken since.


@aggiebutterfly:

So what kind of argument makes you not talk to him that length of time?
I so want to start one of those with my wife.

He's so lucky.


Mar 28, 2012 - 01:42 pm
FoFa
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A couple of hours. After 31 years of marriage we find that there's not much worth being that upset over. We've fought over money and child rearing in the younger years- now it's small stuff

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:01 pm
Jpgurl
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An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing.
So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. 

The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a
simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea
of the dimensions of the problem. 

"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in 
a normal conversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30
feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the
living room, and he says to himself,
"I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

"Honey, what's for supper?" No response. 

So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response. 

So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. 
"Honey, what's for supper?" No response. 

On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away.
"Honey, what's for supper?". No response. 

So he walks right up behind her.
"Honey, what's for supper?"

"For the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!!!!"

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:07 pm
FoFa
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About 15 minutes. I am like fofa, after so many years...........

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:10 pm
Ray
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Now that we have kids, the silent treatment might last as much as 15 minutes. 
 
I am the one that usually ends up apologizing first, even if I know I am right.  I just can't stand tension in the house!

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:17 pm
Littlegoo
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A few years ago we had a huge fight.  My way of coping is just to shut down.  I didn't speak to my dh for 9 days.  I slept upstairs, got ready upstairs, stayed at work late.  Around day 2-3 I decided I should quit ignoring him, but then I was embarrassed that I dragged it out for so long I didn't know how to stop.  He finally wrote me a letter and told me how he felt and that clearly I didn't feel the same way, so maybe we needed to look at divorce.  So I finally started talking to him again.  We were both miserable during that time.  Luckily, we've never had a fight like that again.

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:20 pm
maven
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don't send a e mail, just go up to him and try to resolve the issue
remember tomorrow isn't promised

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:21 pm
chopsaw
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Longest ever was a day. That was when DD was very first born though. Money & exhaustion were big contributors to that fight, lol. Now it's just a few hours? We don't fight over the big things... fights don't help the big problems ever, we just talk those out & work on them together. We really don't fight that much now. We've both gotten pretty good at communication, compromise, & either backing off or doing something nice when the other has had a bad day. Neither one of us like to fight with each other & I'm so so so thankful that he is as funny as he is. Even when I'm a grump he always finds a way to make me smile & laugh, even when he's not in the best of moods (which is rare for him to be in a bad mood.). Life is too short to be pissed off all the time. Taramay had the right idea. Talk when the kids are asleep. Don't yell & try not to be sarcastic. Really try to see where he's coming from & then help him try to better understand where you're coming from. Work through it together, then BAM! Make up sex.

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:22 pm
Heathur
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Just be sure to resolve what the issue is.. otherwise it will fester and the next argument will be worse.

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:22 pm
GoldenGirl
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I try not to let it go any longer than an hour.  The longer you let yourself stew over it the bigger it gets.  I try not to let pride keep me from doing the right thing.  Marriage is work and takes compromise.  

Mar 28, 2012 - 02:23 pm
seriouslyoverbook
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