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So, Here's The Dealio What Transpired This Mornin'....

So, Here's The Dealio What Transpired This Mornin'....

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by: herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 7:41pm  
So, here's the dealio that went down this mornin', shortly after 5.....This is the straight TRUTH.... Real-deal-Holyfield....   I kid you all not....I was in the kitchen, 75% still asleep, cookin' my beautiful hubbs some breakfast for him to take with him to work, when all of a sudden, this big as$ MEGA Roach came out of nowhere (looked like he came from the around my kitchen sink), peeped me, started squarin' me up, and then started tossin' up gang signs....Actually, he was fluffin' his wings, which instantly had me push the Panic Button!....Awwwwww, hells-to-the-naw-ya'll......    I was simply wearin' socks - NO Flip-Flops or Slippers, so the option to squish him with a shoe was out... So, I reached, without giving much thought, grasping the kitchen sink Sprayer Nozzle, flippin' on the H-Twanky (H2O), and literally chased (more like sprayed) that trespassin' sucker down, while of course, hosing down my kitchen floor....   Anywho, so, basically shortly after 5 this mornin', not only did I cook my hubbs a righteous breakfast, but I also stopped an intruder in my kitchen and mopped the floor... .....And BOOM goes the dynamite!P.S.- Yes, my hubbs did come in to see what all the commotion was, saw what had just transpired and simply walked out laughing....Oh, and then, sent me a text later on sayin' that his breakfast was delicious and that I was a Goose-Nugget.... 
 
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 7:58pm  
I laughed so hard. I hate those suckers. After 5he floods last week I was getting the washer going. My honey finally able to get to work and back logged so to busy to talk. I walked in singing with a tip in my toe blessed to have water to wash and a light to see and I went to pick up the dogs towels and sh&tz you not half way to reaching down this monster roach sat. Wigglin his long almost transparent antennae at me. I froze (did I tell you I HATE those things as much as spiders?) I spun holding in a scream and grabbed the clorox clean up. I drowned the nasty ***** in a puddle. Used half a roll of paper towels and tossed it into the trash.
I then proceeded to have a complete melt down like a mime.
I did call dh to talk me off the ceiling.
Now watching the spiders the size of quarters carrying egg sacks walking across the flood waters was enough to keep me penned up. 4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 8:11pm  
@beadweaverI am dying over here, dude, from such hilariousness and TRUTH.......And especially after what transpired in my very own kitchen this mornin'.... I can SO see that right now.....  ....Flippen' AMAZE-BALLS!
 
4951
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staylifted Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 9:10pm  
So, here's the dealio that went down this mornin', shortly after 5.....This is the straight TRUTH.... Real-deal-Holyfield....   I kid you all not....I was in the kitchen, 75% still asleep, cookin' my beautiful hubbs some breakfast for him to take with him to work, when all of a sudden, this big as$ MEGA Roach came out of nowhere (looked like he came from the around my kitchen sink), peeped me, started squarin' me up, and then started tossin' up gang signs....Actually, he was fluffin' his wings, which instantly had me push the Panic Button!....Awwwwww, hells-to-the-naw-ya'll......    I was simply wearin' socks - NO Flip-Flops or Slippers, so the option to squish him with a shoe was out... So, I reached, without giving much thought, grasping the kitchen sink Sprayer Nozzle, flippin' on the H-Twanky (H2O), and literally chased (more like sprayed) that trespassin' sucker down, while of course, hosing down my kitchen floor....   Anywho, so, basically shortly after 5 this mornin', not only did I cook my hubbs a righteous breakfast, but I also stopped an intruder in my kitchen and mopped the floor... .....And BOOM goes the dynamite!P.S.- Yes, my hubbs did come in to see what all the commotion was, saw what had just transpired and simply walked out laughing....Oh, and then, sent me a text later on sayin' that his breakfast was delicious and that I was a Goose-Nugget.... 
 
 
@herron1345:
Looks like a roach motel in that pic there friend !
4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16 OP 
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 9:15pm  
@staylifted....I don't mind "those roaches," dude...  In fact, I'm quite fond of the lil' fellas.......But it's those other roaches - the kind that fly - that are Creepy McCreepster crawlers that are NO BUENO, my friend....
 

4951
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AuthorMan Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 9:29pm  
I met a movie star while walking the dogs down the driveway tonight!Got almost to the end of the driveway and ran into a web. Well, attached to the web was the lead actor in the movie, 'Big *** Spider'!Bigger than a silver dollar and carrying a half pound butt.I would have fought him, but, fortunately he ran into a bush. That's my story. 4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 9:41pm  

- - - - - - - -
>> So, here's the dealio that went down this mornin', shortly after 5.....This is the straight TRUTH.... Real-deal-Holyfield....   I kid you all not....I was in the kitchen, 75% still asleep, cookin' my beautiful hubbs some breakfast for him to take with him to work, when all of a sudden, this big as$ MEGA Roach came out of nowhere (looked like he came from the around my kitchen sink), peeped me, started squarin' me up, and then started tossin' up gang signs....Actually, he was fluffin' his wings, which instantly had me push the Panic Button!....Awwwwww, hells-to-the-naw-ya'll......    I was simply wearin' socks - NO Flip-Flops or Slippers, so the option to squish him with a shoe was out... So, I reached, without giving much thought, grasping the kitchen sink Sprayer Nozzle, flippin' on the H-Twanky (H2O), and literally chased (more like sprayed) that trespassin' sucker down, while of course, hosing down my kitchen floor....   Anywho, so, basically shortly after 5 this mornin', not only did I cook my hubbs a righteous breakfast, but I also stopped an intruder in my kitchen and mopped the floor... .....And BOOM goes the dynamite!P.S.- Yes, my hubbs did come in to see what all the commotion was, saw what had just transpired and simply walked out laughing....Oh, and then, sent me a text later on sayin' that his breakfast was delicious and that I was a Goose-Nugget.... 
 
 
@herron1345:
Looks like a roach motel in that pic there friend !
 
@staylifted:
 
Joe's Apartment
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 7 years ago   Apr 28, '16 9:42pm  
No spiders roaches or ants. 4951
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starryskies67 Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 8:04am  
Spiders don't bother me. Crickets, a little, but I'll deal. Tree roaches...he'll to the nope. You will hear me screaming in China, I kid you not. So, since you guys shared, I'll join the circle:
 
Years ago, when my kids were pint sized (think...PRE pre-k, my lil bro came and stayed with us for a weekend. They were playing games and watching tv in the living room when my little bro started losing his fool mind. I went in to check out what was wrong. I was just in enough time to see a small black B2 bomber flying toward my brother. It missed him by centimeters and landed on the wall. By that time, I'd gathered up my two kiddos and was watching from the kitchen (because throwing my lil bro under the bus is something I've become quite proficient at over the years.) He went to find something to hit it with, and the Red Baron must have sensed that because he dive-bombed my bro again. This time, the Top Gun ace got knocked around the corner and disappeared. After 15-20 minutes of Ghost Hunter searching (What was that?? I felt something touch my arm!), we resumed our regularly scheduled program. Not twenty minutes later, I'm cooking lunch in the kitchen and my youngest son started screaming. Before I could react, my lil bro comes running into the kitchen holding my poor lil man at arms length, yelling "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" I looked down, and the Hindenberg is crawling up my kid's leg. I knocked it down with a spatula, my lil bro put his size 15 shoe down on it and then swept it out the door. The weekend commenced, the drama was forgotten and my lil bro headed home. Come Monday, I dropped my kiddos at the sitter's house and headed to work. I wasn't even at work 10 minutes when I got a call from the sitter asking if anything unusual had happened over the weekend. I told her "No, why?" She informed me that a housefly had landed on my son and they BOTH lost their shnizzle, screaming and crying "GET IT OFF!" Scarred for life. They STILL don't like those suckers. 4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 8:25am  
Removed By Request 4951
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buffaloglenn Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 8:30am  
Just so everyone, including the Yankees here know, roaches in Houston are not a sign of a dirty house or restaurant, or any building for that matter.  Our roaches live in every house, restaurant, lean-to, shed and mansion in this area.  The only way to keep them out is massive quantities of pesticide, both inside and outside of the house, which is probably way more harmful for humans than any roach would ever be.  Saying that, I hate those things too.I may have told the story of one of my personal battles with roaches so stop reading if you've already heard it.  My brother and I spent our teenage years mowing grass and doing odd jobs for some of our lawn clients.  One person asked us to haul off some old wooden fence materials they had at the back of their driveway.  We commenced to hauling it to our truck when we were attacked by hundreds of **** off flying roaches that kept coming at us.  Being the smart teenagers we were, I cranked up the weedeater while my brother fired up the leaf blower and we went to battle with them.  The weedeater took out a bunch, but the leaf blower did the most damage.  We won the war, but still get the shivers when we talk about that day.  4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 8:48am  
Removed By Request 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 8:49am  
I had just moved to Houston (back in 81). I was sitting on my new sofa in our new apartment watching our (old) TV. This big flying thing I caught out of the corner of my eye, and landed in my beard. Then I could feel it moving around on my beard. I proceed to smack myself in the face trying to kill whatever it was.After beating myself half to death, I proceed to the bathroom and check myself out in the mirror.I managed to beat that thing to a pulp, in my beard.Took me about 15 minutes to pull all those spiky parts out of my beard.Did you know they can bite?I'm not ascared of these things, but one time I caught one (just caught it) and had it in my closed hand, taking it outside or to the wonderful roach destroyer most refer to as the "garbage disposer" when all of a sudden, HOLY CRAP, pain in my hand, shake the sucker loose, IT BITE ME! Squash it first, then dispose of properly.I should tell you about my wifes Rambo Roach story sometime. 4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 8:52am  
Removed By Request 4951
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GNCmanager Active Indicator LED Icon 4
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 9:08am  
I'm dying! Yes, they need to add a roach killer device to every broom. One time I wouldn't come down the stairs in my town home when I briefly lived in Rosenberg(ewww). There was one in my dining room that made noises it was roided out lol and aggressive. I've never seen one like that out here! Thanks for the stories too funny! 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 7 years ago   Apr 29, '16 9:21am  
I just KNEW you were going to say you ate it. 
 
@Fallon: Really, that is where you were going with it?
I have eaten different insects, and some were really good.Some not so good.Most are done in some fashion that you do not know there even there.But no roaches that I am aware of.Have had quite a few "fresh ones" in my day also, usually while on a motorcycle. 4951
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