@pickles, does your dh let her say that crap?That is the first and biggest problem if so. Â Until that is fixed, the inlaw isn't the issue.My dh let his parents as I let mine know day one, we will not tolerate that crap. Â Not saying my mil didn't have some zingers to add once in a while. Â But like my mom told me, you will be picking her nursing home so sit back and smile. Â I did. Â I never said a word against her. Â My fil was diagnosed with dementia a couple years ago. Â That is when things all changed. Â She was use to her dh doing everything. Â She never took care of finances, etc. Her dh did all that. Â Well my dh goes to help her get through some legal matters with my fil, power of attorney's etc. Â While there he had to call me to get me to get things done. Â She was floored I handle all these things. Â But my dh is out of the country more than in, sometime, and we have no family within 1200 miles, so I have always had to do things myself.She is 100% different. Â She calls me weekly to talk to me. Â She asks me to give her advice and help her do most things. Â She is night and day what she was. Â I think a lot had to do with my fil. Â He was always an ***. Â Dementia isn't something I would wish on any family, but he was still always an ***.You need to have your dh set her straight. Â Then just no longer go to her house or be anywhere she is. Â Your kids do not go where you do not go. Â If anyone has an issue with that tell them to stop breathing
 Do not ever back down from this.  Cut them out of your life, and you will be surprised at how much better your life becomes.
@Fallon:
Oh trust my husband goes head to head w her. His father doesn't say a word just lets her treat us like crap. His own son has been treated very poorly since his mother passed when he was 13 & he married this thing. She won't let us speak. She talks over you & tells us we are wrong on every level. We do not go to their house anymore. No where private. This was seating at a Kingwood restaurant. She complained about the entire time bc we picked the place to eat We don't do holidays w them anymore bc she gives us crap from garage sales while her drunk who're kids get really nice stuff. Telling my kids they would get more if they would come around more 4951