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Ever been on a committee...

Ever been on a committee...

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by: HollyHobby Active Indicator LED Icon 9 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 8:51pm  
I'm on a committee of 3 people (myself and 2 other women) and we are putting together a program for students. I am starting to think that one of them is bipolar or dealing with depression or something similar. She's angry and confrontational in one meeting and super organized, highly motivated and energized in another. It's driving me nuts and I'm thinking of stepping down. I thought she was taking on the role of chairman, but weeks go by with nothing done and when I try to make progress, my efforts are ignored. We're supposed to have a meeting in a couple of days, and I'm dreading it. 4951
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sweetie Active Indicator LED Icon 11 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 8:56pm  
It's not worth being on a committee if you dread any of it. Talk to the other woman and see if she feels the same way. If she does, vote out the lady with the problem. 4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:12pm  
I'm on a committee of 3 people (myself and 2 other women) and we are putting together a program for students. I am starting to think that one of them is bipolar or dealing with depression or something similar. She's angry and confrontational in one meeting and super organized, highly motivated and energized in another. It's driving me nuts and I'm thinking of stepping down. I thought she was taking on the role of chairman, but weeks go by with nothing done and when I try to make progress, my efforts are ignored. We're supposed to have a meeting in a couple of days, and I'm dreading it.
 
@HollyHobby:
Yep and I know hoe you feel. I've learned to walk away. In fact seems every good thing I do gets pooped on. My kindness is my complete downfall. Yet when I say what I feel I'm a ***** do I keep my mouth shut and chuck it into the Hey I Tried pile.
4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:18pm  
I dont work well with others for the most part, and because of the reason above..you just cant trust others to do their part eapecially if its a volunteer thing. I would never have put myself in that position i would turn over my progress and walk away...
 
Ok..i would really just take over if i felt like i was doing a better job. I wouldnt want my name on shoddy work but find a way to not have to work with that person again.
 
4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:31pm  
Yeah, I just don't do committees. Too many slackers with no experience, who want to pass the buck, and the worse of them all...they never ever want to make a decision.
 
I agree, I don't want my name associated with half-***ed work. 4951
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HollyHobby Active Indicator LED Icon 9 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:32pm  
Ok..i would really just take over if i felt like i was doing a better job. I wouldnt want my name on shoddy work but find a way to not have to work with that person again.
 
@BooBear: I don't want to take over, but I created an entire outline for the project. All that needs to be done to complete the project in in the outline. Details just have to be fleshed out and based on my past experience with her, there are a lot of arguments ahead. Emoticon
 
4951
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Cajunmom Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:34pm  
@HollyHobby -- sounds like a world of trouble.  The bad thing is if it's just a three person committee, you worry that the kids are the ones who suffer.  That's a tough situation. 4951
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HollyHobby Active Indicator LED Icon 9 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:36pm  
@HollyHobby -- sounds like a world of trouble.  The bad thing is if it's just a three person committee, you worry that the kids are the ones who suffer.  That's a tough situation.
 
@Cajunmom: I haven't wanted to turn it into 2 against 1. Know what I mean? I'll make my decision in the next day or so.
 
4951
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Cajunmom Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:37pm  
I known exactly what you mean @HollyHobby.  Good luck to you. 4951
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J2911 Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:38pm  
May just have to take one for the team and chalk it up as a learning experience. When will it end?
 
ETA: I am not a huge fan of committees either or anything where 20% do the work of 80%. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 9:47pm  
@HollyHobby -- sounds like a world of trouble.  The bad thing is if it's just a three person committee, you worry that the kids are the ones who suffer.  That's a tough situation.
 
@Cajunmom: Don't think kids will actually "suffer" if she steps back. No need for her to feel guilty for wanting to avoid conflict. If enough people step back when this person starts acting like an ***, one day she will ask the wrong person why she is always the one left doing the work. Then someone can tell her "cuz you're a b1tch and you alienated everyone else. Ya left yourself alone and holding the bag."
4951
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HollyHobby Active Indicator LED Icon 9 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jan 27, '16 10:12pm  
I think I'm going to step aside. No guilt. This is a worthwhile endeavor and it's possible that with me out of the picture, the 2 remaining members will make some progress. 4951
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fcabanski Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Jan 28, '16 12:17am  
I was working for a video game company.  I had consulted as part of a group.  That project didn't go through, but the company liked me, so they hired me to work on a different project with a committee.One woman...one woman on the committee had a terrible,,,had a terrible stutter problem.  She would constantly....would constantly repeat what she said...repeat what she said...sometimes three or four times....three or four times...three or four times.She was the head person on the team.  Nothing got done because of her constant repetition. 4951
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TXtransplant Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 8 years ago   Jan 28, '16 12:25am  
Every time I've been on any sort of commitee I have done all of the work to get things done. I no longer volunteer 4951
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landlady Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 8 years ago   Jan 28, '16 6:57am  
I had similar experiences. I learned my lesson. I no longer volunteer. I donate or volunteer for a specific task that can be done solo. It's just too much drama for me. So sorry you are going through this. It sucks when the stupid drama over shadows the volunteer goals and benefits. 4951
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Ray Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 8 years ago   Jan 28, '16 7:40am  
She's angry and confrontational in one meeting and super organized, highly motivated and energized in another.
 
@HollyHobby: Hmmmm, to me this seems simple enough....  Emoticon Emoticon Emoticon
4951
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