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I think it is time for another JOKE thread

I think it is time for another JOKE thread

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by: FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:08pm  
A man is driving down the road with a bunch of penguins in the back seat of his car. The police stop him and tell the man that he cannot drive down the road with that many penguins in his car, it’s illegal. They inform him that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo right away. He is pulled over again the following day by the same police officer when the officer notices all the penguins still in the man’s car. He says to the man, “I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!” to which the man replies, “I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies.” 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:10pm  
A doctor tells his blonde patient that she needs to lose a little bit of weight for her health. He tells her that his recommendation is that she eats regularly for two days, skips a day and then repeats the procedure for two weeks. He then tells her that she will lose at least five pounds by the time she comes to his office again. The next time he sees her, she’s nearly 20 pounds lighter. “That’s amazing! Did you follow my instructions?” the doctor asks. “Yes, she said. But I really thought I was going to die,” she says. “From hunger?” the doctor asks. “No, from skipping,” the blonde replies. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:12pm  
A woman decides she's going to mail her Christmas cards, but she doesn't have enough stamps. She goes to the local post office and heads inside to wait in line for her turn. When it's her turn to head to the counter, she informs the postal service man she'd like some stamps so she can mail her cards. "What denomination?" the postal service man asks the woman. "Oh good heavens! What has the world come to these days?" she says in outrage. When the postal service man looks at her funny she says, "I'll take 50 Catholic and 50 Baptist stamps." 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:15pm  
A vicar is speaking to one of his parishioners one day. He says to the parishioner, "When you get to my age, you will spend a great deal of your time thinking about the hereafter," to which the parishioner responds, "Why do you say that I will spend more of my time thinking about the hereafter?" The vicar responds, "Well, my friend. I’ve noticed that the older I become, the more I find myself going into a room and thinking, 'What did in come in here after?’" 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:16pm  
A young man grew up his entire life saying that he wanted to grow up and become a great writer. He was once asked about what kind of writer he wanted to become in his life. “Oh,” he said, “I want to become the kind of writer who is great. I want to write about stuff that everyone in the world will read. I want what I write to make people react on an emotional level. I want them to scream, cry, howl in pain and anger,” he said of his writing. Now that he’s an adult, he is a writer. He writes error messages for Microsoft. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:17pm  
A mom took her young son to church with her one Sunday. During the middle of service her little boy looked at her and informed her that he has to go pee. The mother, upset with her son, firmly told him that it’s not acceptable to say ‘pee’ in church and that the next time he has to go to the bathroom he needs to tell her that he has to ‘whisper’. The following Sunday the same boy went to church again, this time with both of his parents. He leaned over to his father during the middle of service and said, “Daddy, I have to whisper,” to which his father replied, “Go ahead and whisper in my ear, son.” 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 1:27pm  
An ambitious young lawyer was in her office late one night when the Devil appeared. He said that he had a proposition for her. “I will make you the best lawyer in the world. You will win every case. Your colleagues will be in awe. You will be rich and famous and everyone will love you because you are so smart and so talented. In return, I want the souls of your husband, your kids, your parents, your grandparents and everyone in the world you love.” The lawyer looked at the devil and replied, “So what’s the catch?” 4951
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Txbutterfly Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 8 years ago   Sep 1, '15 2:26pm  
Two blondes walk into a bar...you think one would of seen it. 4951
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