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by: Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 6:11pm  
I don't have a sister. So...
 
If you have a sister that you've had an on again/off again relationship with for 35 years and she threw you under the bus to a long time friend, would you want your friend to tell you?
 
Just got a 5 sentence letter in the mail from a friend's sister. I got my friends version Monday night over the phone. I have only met the sister a few times in the 25 years that I've known my friend. I am pretty shocked at receiving this letter. Feels more like an immature jab at my friend.
 
Should I share it with her or just throw it away? I'm pretty sure this would forever ruin their relationship and start an unnessary family fight, a worse fight anyway. 4951
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TheLandLord Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 6:15pm  
Why stir the pot? 4951
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soxs mom Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 6:22pm  
I would throw it away and forget you ever saw it.  Sister relationships are complicated. I am closer to one of my sisters than the other.  Mainly just because of our personalities.  My other sister, well..we probably would not even chose to be friends in RL not because there is anything wrong with her, but because we are so different. But because we are sisters, we are forever connected.  Even though we aren't as close, she is there for me and I am there for her when the chips are down. Our kids are cousins. We are family. We have had a few spats but always the sister-ness has won out.  I would not want to be a part of breaking the tie between sisters, even if they have had relationship issues. Let them work it out and be there for your friend as a good listener  and shoulder when she needs one. 4951
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Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 6:22pm  
Why stir the pot?
 
@TheLandLord:
 
That's what I think. I'm leaning towards never speaking of it. But the letter was mailed back with an item I left at her house a month ago, thinking when my friend sees the item she will pry because of the timing. I don't want to lie. AND I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE MIDDLE!!!!! I'm actually mad at the sister for sending me this ********. 4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 6:22pm  
Removed By Request 4951
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soxs mom Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 6:25pm  
have only met the sister a few times in the 25 years that I've known my friend. I am pretty shocked at receiving this letter. Feels more like an immature jab at my friend.
 
@Francita: If you feel disloyal just throwing it away, write the sister back and tell her you not wish to have any further correspondence or interaction from her that involves you in her ongoing issues with your friend. Then throw it in the trash!
4951
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taramay Active Indicator LED Icon 14
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 7:07pm  
I would want to know. It's 100% out of line for the sister to write anything to you. Unless it's asking for advice on how to better her relationship with her sister.
 
She shouldn't be allowed to act that way and get away with it. It will come up. They'll get in a fight, something will be said, your friend will find out eventually about the letter. Then you'll be in trouble for not telling her about it.
 
Whatever happens in their relationship has nothing to do with you. If this is what ends their relationship, then there are far bigger issues out of your control.
 
I wouldn't go into specifics, but I would tell her that the item was returned to you and there was a letter included that "basically said...". 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 7:19pm  
My sisiter is my best friend. We talk daily so I cannot imagine anything that could come between that . @taramay makes sense though. It seems like they must already have issues. I don't think this will be the nail. It's truly none of your business and the sister has put you in a terrible position. I wonder if she is hoping you go to your friend? Very middle school on her part. 4951
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taramay Active Indicator LED Icon 14
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 7:28pm  
My sisiter is my best friend. We talk daily so I cannot imagine anything that could come between that . @taramay makes sense though. It seems like they must already have issues. I don't think this will be the nail. It's truly none of your business and the sister has put you in a terrible position. I wonder if she is hoping you go to your friend? Very middle school on her part.
 
@BooBear:
 
I'm the same way with my sister.
 
While it is none of her business what goes on with the sisters, she's been dragged into regardless of if she likes it or not. I'd be loyal to my friend and be as supportive as possible during the aftermath. 4951
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SenseOfHumor Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 7:31pm  
Let it go.  It could jeopardize the relationship you have with your friend.  Leave the trouble between the two sisters. 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 7:33pm  
I'm the same way with my sister.
 
@taramay:
 
And yet I only talk to my brother a few times a year and see him only during family emergencies. Last I saw him was dad's funeral last may and I've only talked to him recently because Michael was in the hospital. My brother is more likely to call Michael over me.
 
Family relationships are just odd and hard. 4951
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mutton Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 7:48pm  
Why stir the pot?
 
@TheLandLord:
This... 4951
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herron1345 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 8:27pm  
@FrancitaDude, drama blows....  I personally say just squash the bull****, throw away that ugly note, don't respond and let it go...  Negativity feeds off of negativity, as does drama and all of that ugliness, and honestly, dude, ain't nobody got time for that silly ****...  Life is too precious, too beautiful, and too much of a blessing for unnecessary stress....  
 
4951
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Leauxl Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 11:26pm  
@Francita, I think @Fallon made a very good suggestion. However, I'd probably keep it to myself that the sister sent the letter throwing your friend under the bus Emoticon 4951
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Leauxl Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 8 years ago   Aug 13, '15 11:30pm  
@FrancitaDude, drama blows....  I personally say just squash the bull****, throw away that ugly note, don't respond and let it go...  Negativity feeds off of negativity, as does drama and all of that ugliness, and honestly, dude, ain't nobody got time for that silly ****...  Life is too precious, too beautiful, and too much of a blessing for unnecessary stress....  
 
 
@herron1345: You sound like such an awesome person Emoticon I haven't been on this site long, but  you are always just a fountain of positivity!
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Aug 14, '15 7:06am  
I wouldn't lie to my friend. My sisters are whacko nuts. My whole family is and we have zero contact. This very thing happened to me and my friend told me.
I took it as well we all know she's nuts. My friend knows me and chocked it up as so, but she told me.
 
I'd tell but let her know to ignore it, it's just the sister stirring a pot. Then go out for drinks and laugh at her juvenile ways.
I wouldn't want it to destroy my friendship if she found out later.
My friends and I don't keep secrets or out right lie to each other, nor do we allow our families to strain what we have built. 4951
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