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Disciplining your child in public

Disciplining your child in public

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by: eandrews87 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 12:39pm  
yes or no? 4951
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thegoodwife Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 12:43pm  
Your title is vague. Physically or just verbally - both really sux' 4951
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eandrews87 Active Indicator LED Icon  OP 
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 12:50pm  
like a spankin @thegoodwife 4951
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sweetie Active Indicator LED Icon 11 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 12:53pm  
No. If your child is misbehaving, kneel down and speak calmly. Tell them the consequence if they don't behave. 4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 12:58pm  
No. If your child is misbehaving, kneel down and speak calmly. Tell them the consequence if they don't behave.
 
@sweetie: ...and just as important if not more...follow through with said punishment when you get home.  Children are quick to realize when the threat is empty and there are no consequences.  That's makes for ****** adults who don't expect there to be consequences to their actions later in life.
4951
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thegoodwife Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:07pm  
like a spankin @thegoodwife
 
@eandrews87: Nope no spanking in public or at home. I'm over 55 yo and was never hit & turned out OK. But my Father was a very small man, but he was someone you didn't mess with.
4951
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soxs mom Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:12pm  
When my kids were little they knew mama's "look". But if they ignored "the look" they got "the whisper"..which was basically a "You need to stop that right now or we are leaving and you are in trouble".  lol. That usually was enough but on the few occasions that continued their fit or whatever, we left.  That meant sometimes having to have a meal packed to go if we were eating out, or shopping left unfinished or movie unwatched but that was how to teach them that we would not remain in public if they would not behave. Then they would have a consequence at home but leaving usually was the really big consequence.  It did not take too many times to make that point and my boys were hard headed. They still joke about mama's "look".Spanking kids in public always makes me cringe. I have seen grannies womp a little toddler up the side of the head for fussing when they looked worn out.  That isn't discipline IMO. I always worry what happens in the privacy of their own homes when someone is so physical with their child in public. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:14pm  
Spanking never really worked with my son.  Quickly removing beloved privileges and electronics were the way to get his attention.  Pure torture was to prevent him from playing outside, taking away TV or on his Xbox.  The sting from a spanking would be very short-lived and of zero effect on him. 4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:24pm  
Violence teaches violence.
Public embarrassment only causes confidence issues.
By restrictions on the things they desire works wonders.
A few yrs back I did something that could have turned real bad real fast. A wake up you might say.
 
At 50 yrs old I grounded myself from a yr of live concerts. My dh was welcome to go, he did nothing wrong.
He could not believe I was punishing myself at my age.
My thoughts are this.....
 
We learn right and wrong by the time we are two.
If I did not punish myself for my wrongs, then there is no reason to do it right.
I sat out that year. Kept my word to myself and learned a good lesson.
It changed my views and practice them still this day. Never to repeat that embarrassing almost life changing moment. 4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:25pm  
like a spankin @thegoodwife
 
@eandrews87: I'm all for spanking a child;1.  on the bottom only and2.  when I'm not angryThere's a line between discipline and abuse.  Anger and reaction can push a person across it quickly.When my kids were little I also found that quietly telling them they were going to get a spanking when we got home was like taking them on a death march.  Having it happen on the spot and be over with was nothing compared to the anticipation of getting that spanking when they got home.
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:33pm  

- - - - - - - -
>> like a spankin @thegoodwife
 
@eandrews87: I'm all for spanking a child;1.  on the bottom only and2.  when I'm not angryThere's a line between discipline and abuse.  Anger and reaction can push a person across it quickly.When my kids were little I also found that quietly telling them they were going to get a spanking when we got home was like taking them on a death march.  Having it happen on the spot and be over with was nothing compared to the anticipation of getting that spanking when they got home.
 
@shodan66:
 
I believe hitting teaches fear and intimidation. I wouldn't want someone I loved to ever fear me or think that in a moment of growing pains I wouldn't be there to catch them.
 
Children need to be guided in this world. Some have bigger growing pains.
Adults need to pause and think before they drag kids certain places. Get on their knees and look at the world through their eyes and pause to remember the child in themselves.
 
By saying no to the slumber party, night at the movies, or setting up a fine system where they either work chores or pay in cash I find more effective.
 
4951
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Mahm Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:35pm  

- - - - - - - -
>> like a spankin @thegoodwife
 
@eandrews87: I'm all for spanking a child;1.  on the bottom only and2.  when I'm not angryThere's a line between discipline and abuse.  Anger and reaction can push a person across it quickly.When my kids were little I also found that quietly telling them they were going to get a spanking when we got home was like taking them on a death march.  Having it happen on the spot and be over with was nothing compared to the anticipation of getting that spanking when they got home.
 
@shodan66:
 
Yes, your 2 rules are the way I feel as well. Spanking has its place, especially with certain children who do respond to it. The main reason I don't spank in public is because I think the child deserves privacy. I don't even allow siblings to watch. The other reason is busy bodies who are quick to call CPS. Once you and your children are in the system, it is hard to get out, guilty or not. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:42pm  
Idle threats just causes more problems later.So if you threaten them, make sure you carry it out later.I on the other hand, told mine I would not be afraid to spank in a store.So after pushing me, I did.I think it caught her by surprise, more than the punishment.A few months later, same thing.Now she knew I was serious, never had to do it again after that.Same with whooping at home, after a couple, she knew I would carry out a spanking.After a couple, just a stern look or word, it came to an end.Now that said, I always made sure I was never angry when either one of mine got punished.Sometimes I would have to send them to their room while I cooled down. Then later call them out and make them go get the belt.I always spanked them, but never caused pain, the getting the belt was punishment enough.Often it was harder to not laugh than anything.Now my wife with her idle threats was another story.And I wasn't one of those "wait until your father gets home" punish kind of people.It was more, you have a problem, you need to fix it. 4951
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lilmama09 Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:47pm  

- - - - - - - -
>> No. If your child is misbehaving, kneel down and speak calmly. Tell them the consequence if they don't behave.
 
@sweetie: ...and just as important if not more...follow through with said punishment when you get home.  Children are quick to realize when the threat is empty and there are no consequences.  That's makes for ****** adults who don't expect there to be consequences to their actions later in life.
 
@shodan66: so true! When ds gets grounded from like tv when he's with his dad, he knows that if he stays good he'll get to watch tv by the end if the day. That doesn't happen at my house and ds knows that. He used to try to work with me on getting ungrounded but he's learned that if I say he's grounded I stick to it. Told my ex that he's getting played by our 5 year old haha
 
4951
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Ray Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:49pm  
Violence teaches violence.
Public embarrassment only causes confidence issues.
 
@beadweaver: I disagree. When I misbehaved, My ol man straightened my *** right up. I am convinced that some hard headed kids cannot understand anything as well as pain. Pain is 100 percent effective and sometimes necessary. ( I was such a hard headed pain in the *** kid) Mind you not all kids require this. Some however do. My parents never gave a damn if it was in public or not. You misbehaved, you got disciplined. Thats the way is should be.And as a young man when I went into the military, they were just as stringent. FOR A REASON. None of this mamby pamby codling bs. It works. Just that simple. Of course I grew up in a time where such things as "time out" and other wussy feel good crap did not exist. I went to Catholic School. We had Ninja nuns who would whack your *** with a paddle or a cane if you misbehaved. If that wasnt bad enough, those tattletales would tell your parents you screwed up enough to get whacked and you caught hell at home again. If a child needs discipline by all means DO IT.  Proof of the hands off weeny approach has run amok in our current culture. We have enoujgh 13 year ol gansta hoods runnin around.
4951
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beadweaver Active Indicator LED Icon 8
~ 8 years ago   Jul 10, '15 1:58pm  
@Ray
I understand what your saying. I left at 14 because I didn't like being beat for my growing pains.
 
I didn't nor did my child grow up gangsta.
You sow what you reap. You breed what you are.
Any parent that allows it to go on for thirteen yrs already has their own personal issues. The kid was doomed from the start.
I see it every day, parents and their kids pushing through with no regard they are in public.
 
I've apologized to my share fair of cashiers and wait staff over other people's actions. That they learn at home. It's how you treat people.
That is not okay.
 
I'm not talking about those cranky, tired, tantrums. I'm talking about outright rudeness.
4951
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