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in laws

in laws

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by: blueeyedbabe Active Indicator LED Icon  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 9:44am  
I absolutely love my father in law and step mother in law. I'm closer to her than I am my own mother. We are estranged from my husband's biological mother. That woman is bat crap crazy. We didn't even invite her to our wedding. And she isn't allowed to see our child. We had our wedding a day early on a Friday instead of a Saturday to hide from her.
 
What kind of relationship do you have with your in laws? Even if they are ex in laws how do you feel about them? 4951
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SerenityNow Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 9:49am  
I would say our relationship is pretty much "okay" in it's current state. I would like for us to be closer. They are very loving toward our kids. 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 9:51am  
Love hate...we love to hate each other and are able to get along fine because we know we can't stand each other. No drama. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 10:02am  
I tolerate mine. Over the last 30 years (4 years dating, 26 years married) it's been bumpy to say the least. MIL is a control freak so she naturally will clash with my strong, independent, assertive personality.
 
She goes in and out of Church Lady Church Chat persona, so she's difficult to tolerate.
 
Things are pleasant and civil, but she knows not to over step. She's currently picking on one of the other daughters-in-law, so right now, I'm out of the hot seat. There are three of us, and she has her favorite. 4951
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thegoodwife Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 10:09am  
I'm having flashbacks to a redheaded nickeleena.............................. Emoticon 4951
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cgm10sne1 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 10:32am  
Mine is great....even though my SIL is over the top bossy and controlling....she is a great take charge kinda gal. Mil always very loving and kind to me. However, I'm sure those two rip me apart in private. But I know they love me. 4951
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silly123 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 10:45am  
Removed By Request 4951
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blueeyedbabe Active Indicator LED Icon  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 11:05am  
It can be difficult dealing with the mother in law I think more than the father in law. 4951
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Love2Run Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 11:27am  
Just wait til the shoe's on the other foot...and you become an 'in law' yourself. Yikes. It's very difficult to curb my tongue but I do, for my son's sake. But I'd really, REALLY, like to speak my mind just once. 4951
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Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 11:49am  
My husband that passed away hated his parents. In the 15 years we were together I only met them when it became clear that he was going to die. He asked me to call his family so he could say goodbye.
 
My husband that I divorced, well mother in law was one of the reasons. Extremely religious and what she said went, even in my home. My husband had no back bone when it came to her and in fact would make comments like "my mother wont allow that, you can't do it". His mommy boy attitude was not fixable. That marriage lasted for two of the longest years of my life. It was apparant that my home was never and would never really be my home. Screw all that! 4951
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Odin Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 12:10pm  
But I'd really, REALLY, like to speak my mind just once.
 
@Love2Run: Don't.  It's not your right to do so.  And it's a fast track to getting sidelined and years worth of a bad relationship.and you might not be right.   You may well be, but many MILs are dead wrong and have no idea of the true inner workings of their children's marriages. 4951
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Odin Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 12:11pm  
It was apparant that my home was never and would never really be my home.
 
@Francita: I have no idea what that must have felt like (lol, just a bit of sarcasm).
4951
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Francita Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 12:14pm  

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>> But I'd really, REALLY, like to speak my mind just once.
 
@Love2Run: Don't.  It's not your right to do so.  And it's a fast track to getting sidelined and years worth of a bad relationship.and you might not be right.   You may well be, but many MILs are dead wrong and have no idea of the true inner workings of their children's marriages.
 
@Odin:
 
Great advice. It could also cause your son a great deal of heart-ache if you butt in.
 
Both my boys are in serious long term relationships. I absolutely adore both those girls. I personally would never ever consider saying something that might sabotage their relationships.
 
4951
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Odin Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 12:21pm  
I had a MIL tell me to not be mean to her daughter.  (putting it mildly, lady is a piece of work)What a nice bind that put me in (and often).   Explanations were very private and embarrassing.Was I supposed to tell her that her own daughter had denied me sexual relations for over a year (used as a weapon along with having a dismally low drive).  and that the days preceding had done something fing awful to me  (well, lots of something awfuls).   I just let her think I was an ****** and to this day she still feels that way.  rather that than the alternative.     pride. So, what you think you may know, may not be what really is.  Some people are two faced.   and that's all I'm saying about that.   Your child may be the one at fault, but you only see the surface. 4951
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Mahm Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 12:35pm  

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>> But I'd really, REALLY, like to speak my mind just once.
 
@Love2Run: Don't.  It's not your right to do so.  And it's a fast track to getting sidelined and years worth of a bad relationship.and you might not be right.   You may well be, but many MILs are dead wrong and have no idea of the true inner workings of their children's marriages.
 
@Odin:
 
My ex in-laws still believe all kind of lies about me, even though they know their son is a complulsive liar and had told many lies about them when he was in high school and college. I don't know why they thought he would be any different with the way he portrayed his wife. He has always played the victim. I think maybe, just maybe, when he vilifies his 2nd wife the same way, they will see it. But probably not. 4951
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Odin Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Feb 28, '15 12:41pm  
He has always played the victim. I think maybe, just maybe, when he vilifies his 2nd wife the same way, they will see it. But probably not.
 
@Mahm: Probably not.  People only see the truth when it affects them directly, especially when there is a bias at work.  
4951
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