In the State of Texas, can you "will" a child to someone? And what about his parents? Do his parents have rights?
Also, regardless of his past behavior etc., I'm just not sure there is anything that can be done unless he terminates his rights.
Joint Managing Conservators could be an option. Although, I think both parties have to be in agreement with all decision making?
If your DH doesn't care about name, money (and not insinuating he does) and ex doesn't want her name changed, what about proceeding with adoption, but keeping ex's last name? I know that sounds crazy, but from what you described, that would meet everyone's goals for the child? How old is the child? 4951