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I'm disgusted...

I'm disgusted...

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by: Drekonix Active Indicator LED Icon 5 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jan 8, '15 10:07pm  
About two years ago I had a close female friend that was dating this guy who turned out to be a grade A Son of a B@#CH. He was extremely abusive both mentally and physically. I witnessed it first hand. At one point he put her in the hospital. After that myself an others had nearly convinced her to leave him but he kept stalking her and giving her gifts and she took him back. At this point the boyfriend moves her across the country so that she can't see any of her friends. Forces her to separate all contact. So she drops off the face of the earth for the last year and a half or so. Haven't heard a peep.Today she sends me a picture of her new (looks to be about a month or two old) baby! AND GUESS WHO's THE FATHER? Surprise surprise the A Hole guy who beat her up all the time....I'm so mad I'm fuming and completely disgusted at the same time./End RANT! 4951
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ET Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   Jan 8, '15 10:09pm  
You did what you could. 4951
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Elle10 Active Indicator LED Icon 1
~ 9 years ago   Jan 8, '15 10:12pm  
That's so sad. I'm sorry.I don't know much about abuse like that firsthand, but a buddy of mine is an ex-cop who left his job because after 2 years of responding to the same domestic abuse call - a husband beating his wife - he couldn't handle it anymore. The last call he took found the wife dead, and it took everything in him to not throw the POS down 5 flights of stairs to his death. Even if she has 4 children with him, unfortunately it won't change. Even a mother's protective instinct isn't enough to overcome the mental prison that women find themselves in after abuse like that. I hope a third party can intervene before it's too late for her or that baby. 4951
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Burnsway Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Jan 8, '15 10:38pm  
Maybe he got help and changed.'.....it does happen sometimes. 4951
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angiekaye Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 12:32am  
Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain 4951
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ctl74 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 2:52am  
Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
We normally agree on issues, but I think you're way off here on blaming the victim!!
 
While it's easy for someone like you or me to be on the outside to think that, we don't know what it's like to be manipulated, brainwashed and overpowered by someone. She obviously has a low opinion of herself that she tolerates it. For all we know, that woman was raised like that and knows no different.
 
Abuse can be a tough cycle to break. I pray that Mama and baby stay safe.
 
Dreks - I assume your friend knows how all of you feel. I'm glad she reached out to you - keep the lines of communication open. While you can't physically make her change her mind, you can be there in case she, God forbid, does need you.
 
I hope that makes sense ... It's late! 4951
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Humble Mommy Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 5:17am  

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>> Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
We normally agree on issues, but I think you're way off here on blaming the victim!!
 
While it's easy for someone like you or me to be on the outside to think that, we don't know what it's like to be manipulated, brainwashed and overpowered by someone. She obviously has a low opinion of herself that she tolerates it. For all we know, that woman was raised like that and knows no different.
 
Abuse can be a tough cycle to break. I pray that Mama and baby stay safe.
 
Dreks - I assume your friend knows how all of you feel. I'm glad she reached out to you - keep the lines of communication open. While you can't physically make her change her mind, you can be there in case she, God forbid, does need you.
 
I hope that makes sense ... It's late!
 
@ctl74: I agree.
 
4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 6:09am  

- - - - - - - -
>> Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
We normally agree on issues, but I think you're way off here on blaming the victim!!
 
While it's easy for someone like you or me to be on the outside to think that, we don't know what it's like to be manipulated, brainwashed and overpowered by someone. She obviously has a low opinion of herself that she tolerates it. For all we know, that woman was raised like that and knows no different.
 
Abuse can be a tough cycle to break. I pray that Mama and baby stay safe.
 
Dreks - I assume your friend knows how all of you feel. I'm glad she reached out to you - keep the lines of communication open. While you can't physically make her change her mind, you can be there in case she, God forbid, does need you.
 
I hope that makes sense ... It's late!
 
@ctl74: Yes and no but at the same time she is the only one than CAN end it. She is not responsible for his behavior and I agree that women can feel trapped for numerous reasons but she will have to be the one to decide she has had enough. She will have to take responsibility for her behavior. Nothing will change until she does that. She isn't to blame for the abuse, she has to own her part in the continuation by staying.
 
4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 6:42am  
I was in that situation myself.  Followed a guy half way across the country even.  I don't know what made my wise up, but I did before I had a child with him.  Thank God!  This is a road she is going to have to travel until she finds her road sign to get off.  Unfortunately there is now a child involved.  You have done what you can.  All you can do now is let her know she has friends and that you will be here for her no matter what.   Don't tell her to get away.  Don't try to convince her.  Just be there for her and build her up as much as you can.@Drekonix 4951
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lilmama09 Active Indicator LED Icon 2
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 7:47am  
Agreed. Only she can decide when she's had enough and make ways to get out. I just pray that she realizes soon not only for her sake but for the sake of her innocent baby. 4951
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GoldenGirl Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 8:19am  
I really hate to say this but sometimes the woman won't leave until the man (POS) lays a handon her child...  Sometimes that is what it takes for the woman to get out... So sad, I hope the guy changed but the odds are he did not. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 8:22am  
Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
not only is that wrong but it's also ignorant. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. There are tons of people, men too, who get caught up in cycles of failure and damaging behavior. How about addictions? Lack of intelligence too? I hope not since addictive behaviors are RAMPANT in society.
 
Emotions are purely a different part of the brain than intellect. If it were that simple, as in just being a stupid idiot, we would have no alcoholism, shopping addictions, drug abusers or child molesters, would we? Why don't the vast majority of rape victims report rape? Idiocy?
 
The problem is you have no understanding of this situation or its complexity.
 
What any woman who has gone through that needs is SUPPORT, not being told Shes an idiot. Any more than a rape victim needs to be told she's an idiot for not reporting her crime BC of the trauma she is faced with.
4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 8:38am  

- - - - - - - -
>> Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
not only is that wrong but it's also ignorant. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. There are tons of people, men too, who get caught up in cycles of failure and damaging behavior. How about addictions? Lack of intelligence too? I hope not since addictive behaviors are RAMPANT in society.
 
Emotions are purely a different part of the brain than intellect. If it were that simple, as in just being a stupid idiot, we would have no alcoholism, shopping addictions, drug abusers or child molesters, would we? Why don't the vast majority of rape victims report rape? Idiocy?
 
The problem is you have no understanding of this situation or its complexity.
 
What any woman who has gone through that needs is SUPPORT, not being told Shes an idiot. Any more than a rape victim needs to be told she's an idiot for not reporting her crime BC of the trauma she is faced with.
 
@TheTruthHurts:
I have to agree with angiek. I was an idiot for following my emotions instead of my logic.
4951
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SerenityNow Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 8:42am  
It has nothing to do with intelligence.
For someone who grows up in fear and violence and learns that is how she deserves to be treated, there are no red flags when a boyfriend does the same thing to her. It is just the same thing she had always dealt with. Thankfully in my case, God intervened and shows me I'm not worthless but priceless. 4951
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TheTruthHurts Active Indicator LED Icon 12
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 8:46am  

- - - - - - - -
>>
- - - - - - - -
>> Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
not only is that wrong but it's also ignorant. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. There are tons of people, men too, who get caught up in cycles of failure and damaging behavior. How about addictions? Lack of intelligence too? I hope not since addictive behaviors are RAMPANT in society.
 
Emotions are purely a different part of the brain than intellect. If it were that simple, as in just being a stupid idiot, we would have no alcoholism, shopping addictions, drug abusers or child molesters, would we? Why don't the vast majority of rape victims report rape? Idiocy?
 
The problem is you have no understanding of this situation or its complexity.
 
What any woman who has gone through that needs is SUPPORT, not being told Shes an idiot. Any more than a rape victim needs to be told she's an idiot for not reporting her crime BC of the trauma she is faced with.
 
@TheTruthHurts:
I have to agree with angiek. I was an idiot for following my emotions instead of my logic.
 
@Nurse3:
 

Then by that standard, every living and dead human being is an idiot. Nah.
4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jan 9, '15 8:49am  

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>>
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>>
- - - - - - - -
>> Women are idiots. It takes a lady to have a brain
 
@angiekaye:
 
not only is that wrong but it's also ignorant. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. There are tons of people, men too, who get caught up in cycles of failure and damaging behavior. How about addictions? Lack of intelligence too? I hope not since addictive behaviors are RAMPANT in society.
 
Emotions are purely a different part of the brain than intellect. If it were that simple, as in just being a stupid idiot, we would have no alcoholism, shopping addictions, drug abusers or child molesters, would we? Why don't the vast majority of rape victims report rape? Idiocy?
 
The problem is you have no understanding of this situation or its complexity.
 
What any woman who has gone through that needs is SUPPORT, not being told Shes an idiot. Any more than a rape victim needs to be told she's an idiot for not reporting her crime BC of the trauma she is faced with.
 
@TheTruthHurts:
I have to agree with angiek. I was an idiot for following my emotions instead of my logic.
 
@Nurse3:
 

Then by that standard, every living and dead human being is an idiot. Nah.
 
@TheTruthHurts: Aren't we all idiots at times?  It's called youth and hopefully most of us grow out of it.  I made some REALLY REALLY stupid/ idiotic decisions in my youth.  Live, Love and LEARN.
4951
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