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explain this

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by: mpjp0907 Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:14am  
So I get this email from my father & stepmom this morning... how does this even happen. The guy just turned 60. I was pretty upset this morning with him for even doing this. He doesn't have to send us (adults) anything but you can't swing a little something for your own grandkids? I can't help but shake my head at them.
 
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jls2 Active Indicator LED Icon 7
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:21am  
Maybe they had an unexpected expense. I just had to pay $300 to get my windshield replaced and that wasn't in the budget. Then I have the $400 HOA fees due by January 1st. Just a thought. 4951
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Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:23am  
@mpjp0907:  Are they really having financial troubles?  How many grandchildren do they have?I agree with you.  Even with financial troubles, I would send SOMETHING to my grandchildren.  To heck with the adults, but grandchildren are special!  I don't have any yet but I'm looking forward to it! 4951
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mpjp0907 Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:28am  
I know my stepmom lost her job a few months ago. They only have 5 grandkids and only 2 of my sisters (15 and 8) are still living at home. 4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:45am  
how does this even happen. The guy just turned 60.
 
@mpjp0907: You're not alone.  My parents will be 70 next year and I get collection calls for them all of the time.  I tried helping them years ago by setting them up on a budget.  Once they had a couple of dollars in their pocket they went out and bought a brand new car they had no reason to buy and put themselves back under.  Years later they asked for help but only wanted to do things on their terms.
Unfortunately I think there are a lot of boomers out who just never really figured out the money thing.  4951
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elguapo Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:50am  
I've sent something similar to that before. ..
 
It said,
 
Screw you all, we are spending all our money this year in Mazatlan, Mex. !
 
4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 11:58am  

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>> how does this even happen. The guy just turned 60.
 
@mpjp0907: You're not alone.  My parents will be 70 next year and I get collection calls for them all of the time.  I tried helping them years ago by setting them up on a budget.  Once they had a couple of dollars in their pocket they went out and bought a brand new car they had no reason to buy and put themselves back under.  Years later they asked for help but only wanted to do things on their terms.Unfortunately I think there are a lot of boomers out who just never really figured out the money thing. 
 @shodan66: That exactly describes my in-laws. They have always overspent to excess, all for appearances. Instead of being content and comfortable, they are always looking for an upgrades (cars, phones, furniture, appliances, computers) and they never reach the point when they have enough.  They spend every dime they have and are oblivious to the need to save.Christmas is really difficult to watch because they are not content until the entire house is covered in gifts for the entire family. It's all about big volume and excess, not thoughtful gifts and things people want. It is definitely some deep-seeded need from doing without in their earlier years, but it is not emotionally or financially healthy. Now they are both dealing with health issues, aren't working and have no idea what to do with themselves, yet they still spend.  There's no retirement savings, they have much more house than they need with a hefty house note, and they still don't get it. 4951
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WskyTngoFxtrt Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 12:04pm  
If cutting out all gift giving is a step in the process to correct their financial problems, then good for them. But if it's because giving gifts would get in the way of their normal reckless spending on themselves and they have no plans to correct the situation, then shame on them.With that being said, there are no rules that gifts need to be exchanged just because it's Christmas. And I do know that would be difficult to explain to a child. 4951
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shodan66 Active Indicator LED Icon 15
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 12:09pm  
And I do know that would be difficult to explain to a child
 
@WskyTngoFxtrt: When my kids were little we bought a little something for them and put their grandparents name on it more than one year.  Always with the promise of "we're a little short but will send you the $ after the holidays".  Never expected to see the $ and never got it.
4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 12:12pm  
Given my weirdo in-laws described above, I would love to have a Christmas with them when gifts and spending were NOT the focus.  We could all contribute to a potluck buffet dinner, then focus on spending time with family, catching up, etc. instead of it being all about the gifts.  All of the grandchildren are tweens and teens, they all have everything they want and need already, so they are old enough to appreciate the concept.I know that will never fly with them, but one could always hope!  4951
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mpjp0907 Active Indicator LED Icon 12 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 12:19pm  

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>>
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>> how does this even happen. The guy just turned 60.
 
@mpjp0907: You're not alone. �My parents will be 70 next year and I get collection calls for them all of the time. �I tried helping them years ago by setting them up on a budget. �Once they had a couple of dollars in their pocket they went out and bought a brand new car they had no reason to buy and put themselves back under. �Years later they asked for help but only wanted to do things on their terms.Unfortunately I think there are a lot of boomers out who just never really figured out the money thing.�
�@shodan66: That exactly describes my in-laws. They have always overspent to excess, all for appearances. Instead of being content and comfortable, they are always looking for an upgrades (cars, phones, furniture, appliances, computers) and they never reach the point when they have enough. �They spend every dime they have and are oblivious to the need to save.Christmas is really difficult to watch because they are not content until the entire house is covered in gifts for the entire family. It's all about big volume and excess, not thoughtful gifts and things people want.�It is definitely some deep-seeded need from doing without in their earlier years, but it is not emotionally or financially healthy. Now they are both dealing with health issues, aren't working and have no idea what to do with themselves, yet they still spend. �There's no retirement savings, they have much more house than they need with a hefty house note, and they still don't get it.
 
@donnatella:
My stepmom parents are very well off. I know they borrow alot from them. They (parents) both have brand new cars, live in a very expensive home.in florida. I'm so glad we are NOT like them at all! We save all year for christmas so our kiddos have a great christmas.
4951
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mm4731 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 12:32pm  
[ Removed By Request. ] 4951
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Jpgurl Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 12:48pm  
I'd let it go. I told my parents and Inlaws not to feel obligated to break the bank buying gifts- we actually preferred it that way. We ourselves never went crazy buying tons of stuff for our kids- still don't. Since they were babies our budget for them has been 100.00 -150.00 per person- saved up over the year so no credit card bills. So Christmas in our house is not the huge present deluge I've seen. Ours is about the reason for the season ( though now we're not into the whole church thing) and spending the whole day as a family- from our traditional breakfast to hanging out in PJ's and playing board games and watching Christmas movies.everyone does things their way. I can tell you My parents would've smacked me into next week if I had ever made judgements about their overspending or lack thereof. Even elderly they would of!!! 😵 4951
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SerenityNow Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 1:13pm  
If you think about the meaning of Christmas, then maybe that will help you not to be upset. Gifts really don't matter. My kids have grandparents who can't afford gifts, and they aren't expected. I would rather them spend their money on the necessities that they can barely afford than to waste it on more toys my kids don't need.  4951
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ProblemAgain Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 1:25pm  
I know my stepmom lost her job a few months ago. They only have 5 grandkids and only 2 of my sisters (15 and 8) are still living at home.
 
@mpjp0907: there's your answer....they lost half their income and still have all the same bills and  2 children they are paying for. 
4951
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magnoliamam Active Indicator LED Icon 7
~ 9 years ago   Nov 24, '14 2:18pm  
I agree with ProblemAgain......Losing a job and still having two young kids in the house is a major trauma and financial setback - so don't judge unless you have had that happen to you - getting laid off at 60 sucks.....not easy to get rehired at your usual money - give 'em a break - and she may have been the "major" breadwinner in that family, do you even know???   I'm sure your kids don't "need" anything, but if it bothers you that much, then you buy each of your kids a gift and put granny and grandpa's name on the card......just the opinion of a 60 something grandma who got hit hard with a layoff a few years back....changed my world drastically, even with good savings........walk a mile in my shoes..... 4951
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