Actor Kevin Bacon Changing Last Name To Appease Muslims
by Ibrahim al-Lincoln, official DP Muslim Civil War Re-enactor
August 28th, 2012,
(NEW YORK) —“ ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy…What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet,” wrote Shakespeare in Romeo & Juliet. But apparently thy name is no longer so sweet for actor Kevin Bacon.
Bowing to pressure from various Muslim groups such as CAIR (Center for
American–Islamic Relations), the iconic actor and musician has
publically vowed to change his last name. The reason: although many
Muslims, like most Americans, watch films featuring the seemingly
omnipresent actor, his last name has become a source of “discomfort,” as
it is a byproduct of pork, a strictly forbidden meat within the Islamic
faith.
The star of Footloose, A Few Good Men, Mystic River and countless other films issued a press release
Tuesday afetrnoon announcing he will be changing his last name “due to
increasing demand from the Muslim community to be able to enjoy my films
while not having to be reminded of the filthy, horrid meat so common among ‘infidels.’ ”
Although Bacon did not state what new name he would adopt to appease
America’s Muslim community, the actor’s press statement Tuesday made it
clear he would be formally changing his surname within the month.
Said the now Artist-Formally-Known-As Bacon in his statement:
“Although
the Bacon family has held our name humbly and innocuously throughout
generations, I had no idea it was causing members of our Muslim
community discomfort and impeding their enjoyment of my films and
music. It is with great apologies to CAIR and other representatives of
the Islamic community that I hereby renounce my surname of ‘Bacon,’
since it is a source of revulsion to some of the Muslim community.…Had I
known my name would be provoking the thought of such a cultural dietary
taboo, I would have begun my acting career in 1978 under a different
name. I extend my sincerest apologies to any members of the Muslim
community who may have taken offense to my porcine name.”
-Kevin Soon-Not-To-Be Bacon 4951