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Are you happy every day?

Are you happy every day?

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by: Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 6:35am  
A friend of mine called yesterday and rocked my world.  She and her husband are splitting up after over 25 years of being married.  He told her that he wasn't happy the entire time.  My thought is "Do you expect to be blissfully happy every day?"  I am content.  I feel blessed to have the people in my life that I do and the things in my life that I have, but I never expect to be happy every day.  I don't expect to be living on cloud nine every day of my life, but I have enough of those moments that I feel blessed.  How about you? 4951
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Okiedokie Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 6:44am  
How about you?
 
@Nurse3: It is childish and unrealistic to think you will be happy all the time-especially in a marriage.I am going through a ton right now, but know my DH is there for me.  He is my best friend. I might not be completely happy with what's going on but I am totally happy in my marriage.Maybe he worded wrong-perhaps he doesn't believe she supports him when he is unhappy?The first year of my marriage was rocky, we weren't happy with each other, but we stuck it out and made it through. Marriage is not all unicorns and rainbows.  If you are with the right person, you will stick through it and wait for the rainbow to come back(boy that sounds cheesy)   
4951
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silly123 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 6:53am  
Removed By Request 4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:05am  
I am happy most of the time but my hubby drives me nuts sometime just like I drive him nuts.
 
@silly123:
 
Yep the very things that i love about him, drive me bonkers sometimes. The same with me im sure. 4951
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Jpgurl Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:13am  
Totall agree with Okiedokie!!
My dh is not responsible for my happiness- I am. Chances are when this is all over and your friend has healed she will see that this guy has had a huge negative impact on her life.
I know for me right now, I'm in a low spot. Not depression exactly- more of where the heck did time go and what did I do with my life. Dh is there for me even though I haven't been the best spouse lately.
Marriage is give and take and it's not equal- sometimes you have to give more and sometimes you have to take more. But it's a team effort.
I am sorry for your friend- 25 years is a long time- but I do see it happen. Kids are almost grown - and it's hard for some to transition into middle age 4951
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Stealth83 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:19am  
Removed By Request 4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:19am  
Removed By Request 4951
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Stealth83 Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:21am  
Removed By Request 4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:23am  
I told dh if he left I'd just have to kill him.  I want it all not 60%.  Seems to be working so farEmoticonI just really don't get the whole I'm not happy bs.  You want to be not happy?  Go to TCH and hang out with kids who have a terminal disease.  Then see how happy you are.Bet you anything your friend's dh is cheating on her.I am lucky that my dh is my best friend.  We have a ton in common without our kids.  I genuinely like him.  We meet for lunch 3 or 4 times a week.  We have plans for when he retires.  I can't imagine him not in my life.  Not as my boys father, but as my buddy.  
 
@Fallon: Yep, that's what started the whole thing.  Found out he has been with a girl about his oldest daughter's age.  YUCK!  I think he has lost his everloving MIND!!
4951
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Fallon Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:24am  
Removed By Request 4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10 OP 
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:29am  
She should now concentrate on getting every dime from him she can.  She must show no mercy.Just disgusting to see an older guy with a girlfriend his dd's age.  Surely he knows he isn't all that and a bag of chips.  The girl sees $$$
 
@Fallon: The worst part is, she has been a stay at home mom, pretty much the whole time, and catered to his every little need.  That's not to say that she has been a door mat, but she has spoiled him rotten.  Good luck finding that anywhere else in this day and time!
4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:33am  

- - - - - - - -
>> I am lucky that my dh is my best friend. We have a ton in common without our kids. I genuinely like him. We meet for lunch 3 or 4 times a week. We have plans for when he retires. I can't imagine him not in my life. Not as my boys father, but as my buddy.
@Fallon: THat's a picture perfect relationship.............
 
So many times people only have their kids and the checkbook in common, and usually not even the checkbook.
 
@Stealth83: So VERY TRUE! 4951
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TexasOma Active Indicator LED Icon 14
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:38am  
   
 
Yep the very things that i love about him, drive me bonkers sometimes. The same with me im sure.
 
@Nurse3: Same here.  I KNOW I drive him crazy and he often drives me plum mad.  We are such opposites, but so much alike.  I am not happy all the time, but I never expected to be.  When he pisses me off I keep my mouth shut because I figure it's not worth it to fight over the little things, better for me to cool off then come back and talk with him when I've cooled off.  Most often, he didn't know he had done anything to **** me off.  Usually it's just my pissy mood & I'm interpreting an eye roll or sigh that wasn't even there.  Been together 48 years, married 46.  It sounds like something more is going on that he would suddenly say he's not happy.  There have been many times where I wasn't 'happy', but it wasn't up to him to MAKE me happy, I always figured it was up to me to stop being sad.  It sounds like he might either be planning a fling or already in a relationship.  Maybe some young-thang is flirting with him, making him feel young again.Maybe they should go on an exciting vacation together, something so totally different that it will restore the excitement in their marriage.  Making a marriage last a long time sometimes requires an effort...from both partners.  I feel so bad for your friend to have her husband announce such horrible news. 
4951
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mm4731 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:38am  
[ Removed By Request. ] 4951
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Ashley87 Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:39am  
My marriage is pretty much unicorns and rainbows Emoticon Been together for 10 years this October and seriously rarely ever fight. I think our 6 year age difference put us at the same maturity level lol. 4951
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Mahm Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   Sep 23, '14 7:41am  

- - - - - - - -
>> She should now concentrate on getting every dime from him she can.  She must show no mercy.Just disgusting to see an older guy with a girlfriend his dd's age.  Surely he knows he isn't all that and a bag of chips.  The girl sees $$$
 
@Fallon: The worst part is, she has been a stay at home mom, pretty much the whole time, and catered to his every little need.  That's not to say that she has been a door mat, but she has spoiled him rotten.  Good luck finding that anywhere else in this day and time!
 
@Nurse3:
That's sad. Her whole life revolved around him. She must feel really lost. He has probably been thinking about this for years but waited until he wouldn't have to pay child support. Please tell her, if she doesn't already know, that she is entitled to spousal support in the state of Texas, at least during the divorce process, and he can be ordered to pay her legal fees as well. This is in any marriage that has lasted more than 7 years and he was the sole provider.
4951
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