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Can Men and Women Be Friends w/o Sex or Flirting?

Can Men and Women Be Friends w/o Sex or Flirting?

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by: donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 11:54am  
Or is it an either/or situation? Just wondering.
 
I realize there are always exceptions, but as a general rule, what is the general consensus? Just a informal poll here...no hidden agenda or point to prove. We are all adults here and all able to discuss this frankly and openly, right?
 
Are men just looking for flirty friends or friends with benefits, side action only and if so, what is wrong with just being friends? Got too any already?
 
This was coffee discussion this morning with a group of friends and I at work, and it got me thinking about my male friends, etc. Harmless flirting is one thing, but sexually oriented flirting, or discussion of "wanna / would you be willing to hook up" or seriously hooking up and stepping out, exchanging pics and/or video, etc. is more of the nature of the question. 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:00pm  
Without sex, yes. Flirting?? I don't know, I even flirt with my female friends. 4951
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bp2018 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:03pm  
One of my best friends (who is a guy) and I have this conversation all the time. I say yes it's possible, he says no. 4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:04pm  
Maybe I should specify "flirting" as serious flirting with pics, video and hook up talk. 4951
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calliecat Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:08pm  
I say no.  It has never worked for me.   4951
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cgm10sne1 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:13pm  
I say yes! Men in general...I say no. They always think about sex....It's how their brain works....most of the one's I've ever known. Just to clarify. 4951
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mm4731 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:13pm  
[ Removed By Request. ] 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:16pm  
I say yes! Men in general...I say no. They always think about sex....It's how their brain works....most of the one's I've ever known. Just to clarify.
 
@cgm10sne1:
When I read things like this it makes me think I may be a dude.
 
4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:17pm  
Bluetooth-Enabled Vibrator Might Bring Us Closer togetherTheir new invention was blueMotion, a $129 Bluetooth-enabled wearable vibrator that the wearer or their partner can control through an app.“For us, its about keeping a connection or making a connection with somebody who might be not physically standing next to you,” Ms. Dunham announced to the room.LINK 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:19pm  
this is one of those questions that cant really be answered.

I can absolutely be friends with a chick and not ruin her for other men. I may "flirt" or say sexual things to the chicks (and some dudes) on this board but if I knew you in real life all that would stop.
 
@mm4731: I rescind my dinner invitation!
 
4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:27pm  
this is one of those questions that cant really be answered.

I can absolutely be friends with a chick and not ruin her for other men. I may "flirt" or say sexual things to the chicks (and some dudes) on this board but if I knew you in real life all that would stop.
 
@mm4731:
But her stepping out or being willing to step out isn't a pre-requisite to you being real friends, though, would it? Or is it once you find that out, you are basically done with talking except for cordial greetings etc.?
 
Don't get me wrong, I love chatting, texting, PMs, even a call or two, even a bit of harmless flirting, but with a few exceptions, once they find out there's no sex for them, it's an all or nothing "friendship" ends quickly and suddenly it's run its course. Sort of reminds me of high school.
 
My co-worker friends in this morning's discussion are in the same boat. There seems to be a definite agenda in the conversations they have with men, no matter what the format, and once they say "hey, no sex here, but love the chat and friendship" it's done. 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:27pm  
 
This was coffee discussion this morning with a group of friends and I at work, and it got me thinking about my male friends, etc. Harmless flirting is one thing, but sexually oriented flirting, or discussion of seriously hooking up and stepping out, exchanging pics and/or video, etc. is more of the nature oft question.
 
@donnatella: when you are discussing seriously hooking up then it's already moved beyond even playing at just being friends.
 
That changes the question to can you just sleep with your friends and not become emotionally attached.
4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:36pm  

- - - - - - - -
>>
 
This was coffee discussion this morning with a group of friends and I at work, and it got me thinking about my male friends, etc. Harmless flirting is one thing, but sexually oriented flirting, or discussion of seriously hooking up and stepping out, exchanging pics and/or video, etc. is more of the nature oft question.
 
@donnatella: when you are discussing seriously hooking up then it's already moved beyond even playing at just being friends.
 
That changes the question to can you just sleep with your friends and not become emotionally attached.
 
@BooBear:
Not from me. The question almost always comes up, sometimes later on, yet with others, just after a few back and forth messages or texts. For some is seems to be part of a male "screening" process to see if the chatting is worth their time, rather than trying to really get to know you.
4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:43pm  
Maybe the reason the guy/girl even began a back in forth is because of something sexual. So is it even reasonable to expect that person to just want to be friends?
 
I can't say to someone to show me your **** then try and pretend to be offended/upset/ shocked that they will when they take the comments as you are looking for something extra. You (or whoever) may know you are just having fun, why would they know that and they may not need anymore friends. At least they are being honest up front.
 

4951
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donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator  OP 
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:47pm  
Good point. But at least here, we all banter, flirt, tease and say "show me yours" back and forth and it's all in good fun. I don't know of anyone who takes that seriously as an offer.
 
If I were really serious about more, I would take it to PM, then get really serious really fast like ask for a number or start talking, right away, about side action when and where, or you wanna? That would be clear right up front. 4951
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mm4731 Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   Jul 28, '14 12:50pm  
[ Removed By Request. ] 4951
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