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from ha ha's 4 hooha's

from ha ha's 4 hooha's

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by: FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 9 years ago   May 28, '14 3:01pm  
It was an early morning. I woke up, made breakfast for everyone, got the girls ready for school, fed the baby, packed a lunch for my husband, and washed the dishes. Unfortunately, the only thing I didn't take care of was...well, me. I had yesterday's mascara under my eyes, bad breath, and I still hadn't gotten to putting on a bra so my boobs were sticking to parts of me they shouldn't be able to touch.
My husband walked into the kitchen all showered, shaved, and ready to carpe diem.
He looked at me with this look that said something like, "I love that woman. The mother of my three children. I love that she can cook bacon so well. And her boobs look fantastic." It was as if he didn't see the grotesqueness that was myself at that minute. It was a lovely moment that lasted only a brief second before he completely ruined everything.
I had to stand up to look past the baby who was spitting oatmeal all over my already-stained tank top, which I also wore the day before...and my eyes met his. Then I did something I regret oh-so-much. I asked him what he was thinking.
Ladies, there are only a few rules we must live by to keep a happy home. One of those rules is to never ask our husbands what they are thinking. Because -- and this is a fact -- they are never thinking what we think they're thinking. Never. It will almost always be about work, sports, or boobs. Or, in my husband's case, Lord of the Rings.
Me: "What are you thinking about?"
Chris: "Lord of the Rings."
Me: "Oh! Okaaay. About anything specific?"
Chris: "Samwise Gamgee."
Me: "The hobbit?? What made you think of him?"
Chris: "I don't know. I just walked into the kitchen and started thinking of him."
Me: "When you saw me? He just POPPED into your head when you saw me?"
Chris: "No, not really."
Me: "Not REALLY?! You just happened to walk into the kitchen, see me, and immediately the hairy-footed, short, chubby, side-kick hobbit comes to mind?"
Chris: ::blank stare::
Me: "Why couldn't I be that hot elf lady, huh? You know, the one that's all mysterious and gets to make out with Orlando Bloom? Why didn't I remind you of HER?"
Chris: :"Wow. First of all, her name is Arwin. And, second, she doesn't make out with Orlando Bloom."
Me: "Yeah, well, uh, you're just the green guy that crawls around looking for his necklace or something!"
Chris: "You mean Gollum? And it wasn't a necklace, it was a ring. One ring...to rule them all."
Me: "Don't change the subject, hobbit-hater! I'm going to go take a shower now...and shave my feet." 4951
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Drekonix Active Indicator LED Icon 5
~ 9 years ago   May 28, '14 3:08pm  
LOL! That's an awesome story and I can definitely see myself and Chris getting along very well. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17 OP 
~ 9 years ago   May 28, '14 3:11pm  
That's an awesome story and I can definitely see myself and Chris getting along very well.
 
@Drekonix: I think most men can Identify.
Those who have been a similar situation anywho. 4951
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Retired_Engineer Active Indicator LED Icon 13
~ 9 years ago   May 28, '14 4:32pm  
@FoFa:  When I first started reading it, I thought it was written by you!  EmoticonLove the story, and it's correct. A wife should never ask what her husband is thinking about.AND, a husband should never ask what his wife is thinking about.... unless he has a few hours to spare! 4951
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