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Guys, think before you speak

Guys, think before you speak

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by: donnatella Active Indicator LED Icon 13 Forum Moderator  OP 
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 5:45am  
Husband (soon to be ex-husband) is about to learn a very valuable lesson in what NOT to say at the absolute worst time to say it ever.
 
Why can't some men THINK before they speak? Just stop for a split second and ask yourself:
 
~What impact will these words have?
~How is she likely to react?
~Is this the best time to say these words?
~Is there ever a good time to say them?
~Should I **** and NEVER say them?
~How am I going to suffer once I say them?
~IS IT WORTH IT?
 
4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 5:58am  
Oy!  So sorry my dear.  Did you call him out on it and let him know that he hurt you with his stupidity? 4951
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WskyTngoFxtrt Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 6:08am  
But was it true? 4951
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jax Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 6:32am  
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why a woman should NEVER ask a man "Do I look fat in these jeans?"They don't want to hear the answer and men...don't even go there! 4951
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Jpgurl Active Indicator LED Icon 18
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 7:03am  
I am sorry for whatever (ex) dh said. Mine is the King of speaking before he thinks. After 34 years of marriage I just LOL at him- so do the kids. Here is the gem of all gems that we tease him about all the time. We were in love and discussing our future together
Me: I can't wait until we're together forever
 
Him: yeah ME either. You know, your Dad couldn't pay me a million dollars to take you off of his hands!
 
Me: ( with looks of confusion,hurt and anger) WHAT??!!!!!
 
Him- oh wait- that's not what I meant! I meant that he couldn't pay me a million dollars to NOT marry you!!
 
Me: yeah buddy you're gonna wish you had that million dollars by the time I'm through with you!
 
And perhaps I've made good on that promise at times - I'm not the easiest person to get along with. He does come up with some zingers and he never lies so yeah @Jax I never ask him if I look fat
 
4951
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buffaloglenn Active Indicator LED Icon 11
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 7:08am  
Husband (soon to be ex-husband) is about to learn a very valuable lesson in what NOT to say at the absolute worst time to say it ever.
 
Why can't some men THINK before they speak? Just stop for a split second and ask yourself:
 
~What impact will these words have?
~How is she likely to react?
~Is this the best time to say these words?
~Is there ever a good time to say them?
~Should I **** and NEVER say them?
~How am I going to suffer once I say them?
~IS IT WORTH IT?
 
 
@donnatella: I understand completely where you are coming from. My only suggested edit would be to change "men" to "people", and when we say "guys" we also mean "people".  Some folks can't think before they speak, and others simply can't think at all!  Hang in there.
4951
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Nurse3 Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 7:08am  
My hubby and I were only married a few years when we were both running in different directions one day, but I had our daughter all day.  I fixed meals at regular times and fed her and myself, but he wasn't home at that time and when he did get home it was put away and I was on to something else.  It was about 8pm at night when we were finally home together and just put our daughter to bed when he said, all dejected like, I haven't eaten all day long.  (then just looks at me like it's my fault)  I said "Well, why not?" .........he looks me straight in the face and says....."because you haven't fixed me anything."  I looked at him and laughed in his face.  That's been about 15 years now and I just can't help it...I do bring it up every once in a while.Since then he has learned #1 if you are not home for meal time, unless you are working late, you need to fix yourself a plate from the fridge.#2  If you are hungry, don't wait for me to make something for you, get it yourself. 4951
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scamp Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 7:37am  
People react in different ways. That used to be me, at least a lot more than now. I've really tried to focus on seeing things from an outside point of view before I start popping off. Sometimes I'd even say things with the intent to hurt someone I love. Not good.He may have something eating at him and he lashed out. Kind of a self-protection mechanism. Not excusing it in ANY WAY, but sometimes it's not the case of someone just being an ***. Sometimes it is, though... 4951
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BooBear Active Indicator LED Icon 16
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 7:43am  
Michaels needed to SEE what happened when he **** me off and the best way to do that was messing with his food. When I made him a lunch for work I would leave the plastic on the cheese, put the mayonnaise on the outside of the bread and always put a note inside the sandwich.
 
When I didn't work, he would always talk about HIS money...ok. so I had our bed BEFORE we married. He was down playing with fire and I disassembled the bed and moved it into a spare room. Pointing out to him it was MY bed and I wanted a different view than what we had in the bedroom. He understood then.
 
We don't argue like that anymore. 4951
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FoFa Active Indicator LED Icon 17
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 7:58am  
A co-worker was saying he had been married 4 years now, and came home late from work to find his wife in bed with his best friend.Women, Geesh! 4951
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sunshinegirl Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 8:01am  
MEN DONT THINK HALF THE TIME.....OR THEY JUST DONT CARE! its stupid. 4951
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MAHM Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 8:05am  
I am told often that I take things too personally. I guess that's his way of saying "That's not what I meant."Remember this one from the man rules that @sunshinegirl posted?1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.I agree with @Donnatella. Timing is everything. 4951
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sunshinegirl Active Indicator LED Icon 3
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 8:07am  
I am told often that I take things too personally. I guess that's his way of saying "That's not what I meant."Remember this one from the man rules that @sunshinegirl posted?1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.I agree with @Donnatella. Timing is everything.
 
@MAHM: haha yeah some men sure do have the absolute wrong timing for certain things.
4951
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scamp Active Indicator LED Icon
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 8:08am  
Michaels needed to SEE what happened when he **** me off and the best way to do that was messing with his food. When I made him a lunch for work I would leave the plastic on the cheese, put the mayonnaise on the outside of the bread and always put a note inside the sandwich.
 
@BooBear: I like the way you think.
4951
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Odin Active Indicator LED Icon 10
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 8:09am  
IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
 
@MAHM: This really is true, at least for me.  It's not stupidity, it's just "thinking different".  The brain doesn't always translate well. Intentions good.  Implementation BAD. 4951
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MAHM Active Indicator LED Icon 9
~ 9 years ago   May 1, '14 8:15am  

- - - - - - - -
>> IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.
 
@MAHM: This really is true, at least for me.  It's not stupidity, it's just "thinking different".  The brain doesn't always translate well. Intentions good.  Implementation BAD.
 
@Odin: What is that saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions?I try to stop and translate the words before I react. Key word here is TRY. I'm not very good at it.And DH refuses to censor his words for those who are too sensitive to handle them. Maybe some of you have noticed. Emoticon I appreciate the fact that he will never lie to me, as I was married to a compulsive liar before. But sometimes a little white lie in the name of mercy is not such a bad thing.
4951
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